Mom I Wonder Why

By MC

When I had my appendicitis
And my first major surgery
You were right there
And I felt your compassion, concern, and care

When my feet would break out every summer
And I couldn’t walk without pain
You were right there
And I felt your compassion, concern, and care

When I had that heart attack
And had to be rushed to the hospital in an ambulance
You were right there
And I felt your compassion, concern, and care

When I had my tonsillectomy
And hemorrhaged all that blood
You were right there
And I felt your compassion, concern, and care

Yes, anytime in my life, I’ve suffered
An ailment that was clearly physical
You were right there
And I felt your compassion, concern, and care

But when I was distraught over our move
From the only home I’d ever known
Even though you were right there
I didn’t feel your compassion, concern, or care

And when I was homeless
And being abused by my brother-in-law
You were not there
And I didn’t feel you compassion, concern, or care

And when the depression and anxiety took over
And I turned to you for help
Though you were right there
I did not get your compassion, concern, or care

Now that I am locked away from everyone I love
And I feel more alone than ever before
Though when I call you, you are physically there
I no longer feel your compassion, concern, or care

Why anytime I’ve suffered ailments that aren’t physical
Though the pain is still very, very real
You are never there
With your compassion, concern, or care?

33 Comments

  1. Jescie Roberts on November 24, 2020 at 1:38 PM

    Hey MC, I love your use of repetition of the sentence “your compassion, love, and care” where it changes into different contexts during the entirety of the poem. I love how real I can feel the emotions being portrayed in this poem and the vulnerability you bring to the table. You conveyed a well-written story and I was really able to dive into how you are feeling and see your story from a different point-of-view. Overall, well written poem! Keep Writing and Best Wishes!

  2. Kathy TG on November 24, 2020 at 4:48 PM

    Thank you for this powerful and insightful poem. It asks questions that are important for all of us to consider. Keep on writing!

  3. Rachel Coimbra on November 28, 2020 at 4:46 PM

    Your words were really beautiful, passionate, and strong. I really connected with what you said about your mother only caring for the physical pain you’ve been through but not the emotional. Growing up in a Latino household my parents were always so quick to cover me with warm blankets and make me a delicious chicken soup when I was feeling sick, but I never got that type of care or love when I told them I was going through a bad depression. When I was at my lowest, it made it worse to know that they were completely disappointed in me, they truly believed I had “given up” school and every social aspect of my life since I could barely get out of bed. Trust me, things get better and you start to live for yourself instead of for your parents. Sometimes it is necessary to love some people from a distance if they aren’t benefitting your overall mental health.

  4. Stephanie R Folkner on November 30, 2020 at 7:06 PM

    This is such a powerful message and I relate to it well. Parents are there for traumatic physical illnesses to help you through every step of them but when the illness is not visible they do not recognize it. People are often weary of mental illnesses because of a lack of understanding, education on mental illnesses and if they are older mental health was not spoken about. This poem will open the eyes of many and help families through mental illnesses. Thank you for writing this.

  5. Alison on December 1, 2020 at 10:49 AM

    This poem is heartbreakingly beautiful, increasingly so through subsequent readings. I hope writing can continue to serve as a powerful outlet to your emotions – you are a gifted and skilled writer. Thank you for sharing.

  6. Cy Maceda on December 1, 2020 at 3:48 PM

    I’m so sorry to hear that this is how you feel about your mom. You’re also 100% right, you don’t have to be locked away to feel this same thing. I feel it everyday and some days you just think if you deserved it and all I can say is as long as you have love and compassion for yourself, that should suffice for now.

  7. Allison Musgrove on December 3, 2020 at 3:06 AM

    This poem is so good! I love the “compassion, concern, and care” that was repeated at the end of each verse. This really emphasized how your mom went from empathetic to apathetic as soon as your problems and pain became emotional.

    I want to add that I’m so sorry that your mom has only been there to support you during your physical pain and not during your emotional pain. Emotional pain can be even worse than physical pain. That pain is absolutely real and people who have never experienced something like it seem to underestimate how truly terrible it can be. It can take so much time and support to heal from emotional pain. It’s something that is really hard to do without a good support group. I hope that you have a better support system now or will be able to find one soon. You are not alone, even if may feel that way at times. Stay strong.

  8. Lyndsay on December 3, 2020 at 1:32 PM

    It takes courage and strength to share personal details with anyone, let alone the internet. Even though you may be a stranger, the words you share feel familiar and personal. You are never alone no matter what you may think or go through. You are brave and worthy of happiness.

  9. Justin Lambert on December 5, 2020 at 1:43 PM

    I am so sorry that you have had to go through this, I know that sharing this pain must not have been easy. However, I am glad you wrote something beautiful with it for what it’s worth.

  10. Sabryn Ferchichi on December 7, 2020 at 12:10 AM

    Dear MC,

    The message you’ve provided with your poetry is powerful and meaningful, I can feel your pain and personal struggles through the way you word each sentence. It is beautiful how you transition the change in “Compassion, concern, and care.” Throughout the poem. Well done.

  11. Keyana on December 7, 2020 at 11:37 AM

    Thank you for sharing this and having the courage to publish this. This poem is very powerful and to the point. I think people may be able to relate to this in different ways.

  12. Cameron on December 7, 2020 at 2:13 PM

    MC,

    Wow, thank you for writing such a heartfelt and honest piece! I definitely agree with you that our mental health is so important, and deserves the same amount of compassion, concern, and care as we get for physical ailments. In the poem itself, I really like how you make that switch from the physical concerns to the mental, and you flipped the sentence that you had been repeating to mean the opposite. I think that first stanza when you explain how you didn’t felt your mother’s compassion, concern, or care was very well done. I want to thank you again for writing such an open and heartfelt piece. Just know that you are not alone. Even though you cannot see us, there are so many of us reading your poetry and thinking of you.

    -Cameron

  13. Joyce on December 7, 2020 at 4:36 PM

    Dear MC,

    Wow, thank you for being so vulnerable with the readers of this amazing poem. I am so sorry that your mother was not able to offer you compassion, concern, or care through the hardships you faced. I hope that you can find strength to overcome your hurt and suffering. I think many people would find this relatable in some way, though nobody could understand your exact experience because they have not lived your life. Nevertheless, many parents do easily care for their children when they face physical suffering, but for some reason, do not know how to care for them emotionally, mentally, socially. Maybe they still have potential to learn. It seems like you really value this compassion and care in all aspects of life — maybe the lack of receiving it from your mom will encourage you to share it with others in your life. I wish you all the best and you are in my thoughts!

    Sincerely,
    Joyce

  14. Katherine on December 8, 2020 at 2:58 PM

    Wow, I love the powerful storytelling in your poem. You point out such an important issue that physical pain is more accepted and people don’t often acknowledge emotional and mental pain. Mental health is so important and should be cared for to the same standard that physical health is.

  15. Maggie on December 8, 2020 at 10:06 PM

    I thought this poem did a really good job invoking emotions, and leaving people to question who their true friends are in their lives. This poem was really well written!

  16. Keegan Connolly on December 9, 2020 at 4:59 PM

    Wow so beautiful! I really understood and felt the message you’re conveying here. I think the repetition throughout helps tell your story. I especially loved how you ended the poem with a question. Breaking the pattern is so powerful and strong. Great work and loved it!

  17. JM on December 10, 2020 at 1:07 PM

    Dear MC,

    Thank you for sharing this poem. This delves into so many things that you’ve faced and I’m in awe of your resilience for weathering it all. I also really like the point that this poem makes– we, as a society, are less likely to offer our compassion and comfort to those with invisible wounds, but the irony is that they are often more long lasting than our fleeting physical ailments. Nonetheless, you managed to capture every event succinctly and beautifully in a consistent pattern. I really liked how ordered this poem is, and its repetition– there are a lot of things that are considered unexpected obstacles which cause some degree of pain but each one is so calmly and peacefully ordered. The way you’ve been able to arrange all of this into something beautiful is incredible and hopeful. Thank you for sharing.

    Best,
    Joseph

  18. Ken on December 10, 2020 at 2:33 PM

    This poem is so deep an well written. You made sure that the poem got your point across and that the readers felt what you felt. You had good words that you used in it also. Keep up the good work!

  19. Callie Cloran on December 13, 2020 at 9:47 AM

    MC, Wow. This poem is incredible and I feel the emotion through reading it. I am sorry for the pain you feel. The story you told is beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

  20. Margeaux on December 13, 2020 at 7:54 PM

    It’s very difficult when a parent/role model/loved one feels like they love you conditionally. This is a beautiful (and hopefully healing) description of that.

  21. Anna on December 15, 2020 at 6:41 PM

    MC,

    I truly enjoyed your poem and really related to it, especially in dealing with depression and anxiety. People are so quick to help and show compassion to those who are dealing with outward/visible pain, but when the pain becomes internal people turn away and are no longer as concerned. I am unsure why they do; although, I do have my theories. Stay Strong and know that you are not alone, even when it feels like you are.

    AK

  22. brandi on January 14, 2021 at 6:36 PM

    woah I could really feel the emotion in this poem, especially during where was no love compassion, or care from the mother. This was real deep and I thank you for sharing this with us.

  23. Jordan on January 18, 2021 at 11:20 AM

    MC,
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts, words, and ideas in this poem. I could truly feel the emotion–the pain and heartache and longing that you were trying to convey. Even though it is hard for many people to wrap their heads around the pain that comes with mental ailments, know that I and many others reading your work are thinking of you. You are never alone! Keep up the great work and stay strong!

    -Jordan

  24. cameron h on January 18, 2021 at 3:25 PM

    MC,

    This poem is very moving. I loved how you repeated the phrase “…with your compassion, concern, and care.” even though it changed meaning throughout. I definitely feel like I can relate especially when you mention depression and anxiety. The message you are trying to convey is important and I felt you did it in a powerful way. Thank you so much for sharing.

    CH

  25. Samantha on January 30, 2021 at 7:49 PM

    MC,

    Your vulnerability is incredible, and felt. Thank you so much for sharing and opening up this deeply with the world. I am so sorry that you haven’t felt the compassion from your mother with many different circumstances in your life. I am glad you have the outlet of poetry to express your hurt and pain. Please continue to write, as I am sure there are many others who have experienced pain in the ways in which you express here!

  26. Shaili on February 3, 2021 at 12:54 AM

    MC,

    Thank you for sharing such a powerful poem. It sheds light on the very important topic of mental health, something that is rarely spoken about (besides on large platforms) – it’s really hard suffering from things that are intangible. Sending all my best wishes to you!

  27. David on February 24, 2021 at 10:27 AM

    I just want to thank you for opening up and being so vulnerable through this piece of work. I believe that it really exposed something deep within and I applaud you for doing so. You were able to give such concrete examples that I could feel your emotions and be in your shoes. This poem shows that physical ailments are not the only hurt that can be felt and that mental health is also very important.

  28. Joe Fargo on March 25, 2021 at 11:32 PM

    Dear MC,

    Thank you for sharing this poem. I appreciate your vulnerability, and I empathize with your struggles immensely. I hope you can find solace in the power of your pen. Please keep writing and healing, and hopefully you can heal from your broken bones *and* your broken heart. At the very least, you have my support. <3

    Best wishes,
    – Joe

  29. Amanda on March 26, 2021 at 3:55 PM

    MC,

    This is such an enriching and powerful poem that was very influential to read. The rawness of it really tugged at my emotions when reading and made me think of my own mom. Our mothers do so much for us and we don’t even realize it. Especially when we are sick, they are always there to take care of us. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your piece and hope you keep writing for time to come!

  30. Ayzhiana Basallo on March 28, 2021 at 12:20 AM

    I like how you repeated the same line towards the end of the stanza. I really thought that was what made me want to keep reading. I felt every emotion when you repeated the same lines towards the end. I feel that it was really powerful in a sense, it made me think of my family members and how they are always there for me.

  31. Alivia on March 30, 2021 at 12:58 PM

    I appreciate this poem, it must have been so difficult to write this into words, and let alone share it on this platform. I appreciate the openness about your struggles and reflecting on your life. The repeating of the compassion concern and care really emphasize how you feel. Thanks for sharing!

  32. Ashlen on March 31, 2021 at 6:16 PM

    MC – Thank you for sharing your poem! You’ve put into words something that we can’t always physically see, but still exits. You are very talented in your ability to express pain and love and loneliness. I am rooting for you and I hope you continue to write!

  33. Kylie on April 5, 2021 at 12:21 PM

    MC,
    Your poem is really beautiful and utterly heartbreaking. The way in which you describe your mother’s apathy and lack of understanding regarding your internal struggles as compared to her response to you physical pain is beautifully written and devastating. There’s a pervading sense for most people I think that mental illness is somehow your own fault in a way physical illness is not. Obviously those people have no idea how devastating mental illness and trauma can be to every aspect of your life. I’m sorry that you went through this with your mother.

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