If I Were Free

By HW

If I were free, I would cherish
every breath I breathe.

If I were free, I would cherish
every hug, and every kiss for everyday that I missed.

If I were free, I would show the world
my presence is love, for I am blessed from above.

If I were free, I would prove people can change.
And we shouldn’t be punished forever for things we did at a young age.

If I were free, I would cherish every moment
outside of this cage,
If I were free…

42 Comments

  1. Jen Melendez on November 25, 2023 at 7:17 PM

    Beautiful! I love the line “I would prove people can change.” I often feel I am still proving I’ve changed from the person I was when I was young.

  2. NE on November 26, 2023 at 3:22 PM

    i like your poem

  3. Josie on November 27, 2023 at 11:25 AM

    I like how you started every sentences and line with if I were free. I feel as though you are trying to make a statement on how your life would be different if you were free and you weren’t forced to stay in one place. I believe as though you are trying to speak out to your loved ones and are begging to see them again. Great poem.

  4. Abbas Faisal on November 27, 2023 at 11:20 PM

    I liked how you repeated the phrase ‘If I were free’ over and over again to emphasize the theme of the poem. I like how the last line is left unfinished.

  5. NB on November 30, 2023 at 2:54 PM

    HW, your poem shows how important it is to show love to everyone. People can change and I believe that is possible for you too. I would encourage you to show your presence in love in your current environment. You have the chance to change hearts and turn lives around just by being you and telling your testimony as a changed man/woman. Praying for you!

  6. Caeden on November 30, 2023 at 5:18 PM

    Hi HW,

    The love you carry inside of you radiates off of this poem, and your words are a reminder for me to appreciate the minutiae of life. What you write about change and punishment are so profound, and I agree with every word. From this poem, I get a clear sense that you know who you are and the beauty you bring to the world. Thank you for sharing it.

  7. Colin on December 2, 2023 at 3:55 PM

    I’m sure you’ll be free soon, and when you do, I’m sure you’ll be able to cherish every moment you have. Once you do obtain your freedom, I’m sure your family and friends will be happy to see you as well!

  8. Omar Amrani on December 3, 2023 at 4:09 PM

    HW,

    Your poem displays a profound desire for simplicity. Also, your yearning for freedom is inspiring, which highlights the necessity of diverse life experiences. Additionally, the desire for a second chance could be transformed into motivation to improve one’s circumstances. Thanks for your poem.

  9. Chloe Espinal on December 4, 2023 at 12:29 AM

    This poem really clearly articulates a feeling of longing that I’m really able to see and maybe even understand to an extent. The repetitive structure emphasizes what you want, but it also really shows hope. This poem has a determined and hopeful undertone that really ties beautifully together. This is a well-written and thought out piece!

  10. Lucas Espinosa on December 4, 2023 at 4:06 PM

    HW,
    Your poem is a true reminder of how important it is to not take things for granted. Upon reading this, I thought about how things can be taken away from us so quickly and easily, and that I never want to be in a position where I am wishing I appreciated something more when I had it. Ultimately, this is a truly well-written poem with the power to have genuine impact on anyone that reads it.

  11. Halie on December 5, 2023 at 8:07 PM

    This is so beautiful. I love this.

  12. CC on December 7, 2023 at 5:35 PM

    HW, beautiful poem, I can see how you express a deep appreciation for every breath, hug, and kiss, wishing to cherish life outside of confinement. There’s a desire for redemption, a plea not to be judged forever for mistakes made in youth. The poem closes with a simple yet powerful wish to cherish every moment outside the metaphorical cage. It’s a heartfelt reflection on freedom, redemption, and the joy of life’s experiences.

  13. Grace on December 8, 2023 at 4:46 PM

    I love how the concept of this poem is love. The repetition of the words “if I were free” adds emphasis to wanting to be free. Overall great poem and I hope one day you get to be free!

  14. Ava on December 14, 2023 at 3:53 PM

    Hi HW, Your use of repetition only makes the statement “If I were free, I would…” more powerful. I feel so much emotion in this poem and with each line, you pull me in more. The hope and love that I see in this is so beautifully clear it can’t help but captivate the reader. Very moving and well-written piece!

  15. Pratiksha on January 11, 2024 at 12:36 PM

    It’s really a heart touching poem. I like how it’s absolutely meaningful and you jot down your thoughts so beautifully. Keep writing!

  16. Eddie on January 15, 2024 at 9:58 PM

    Dear HW,
    Thank you for sharing this poem, “If I Were Free”. I really like the metaphor of a cage representing entrapment, and I think the idea of spreading love and making up for the time that you missed is really touching. Furthermore, the repetition of “If I were free” really gets the message across and makes the poem more powerful. I really appreciate your work!

  17. Zoriah Mestre on January 24, 2024 at 1:50 PM

    This is a well written poem and it shows to cherish everything before its gone
    my favorite line is “If I were free, I would prove people can change.
    And we shouldn’t be punished forever for things we did at a young age”
    I hope everything is going well for you.

  18. Zoriah mestre on January 24, 2024 at 1:52 PM

    This is a well written poem and it shows to cherish everything before its gone
    my favorite line is “If I were free, I would prove people can change.
    And we shouldn’t be punished forever for things we did at a young age”
    I hope everything is going well for you!!!

  19. ... on January 24, 2024 at 1:55 PM

    This poem is amazing, I agree that we shouldn’t be punished forever for something we did before our brains developed. This poem is a wake up call to society. Amazing poem.

  20. Peace minder on January 24, 2024 at 1:57 PM

    I really like this poem and is so true and makes sense . I love the way you said every single line that says If “If I were free”.

  21. Esther on January 24, 2024 at 2:01 PM

    I loved this so much! i absolutely adored the line “I would prove people can change.” and i also really loved “If I were free, I would cherish every moment outside of this cage” because i feel like i’m trapped and i also feel like i’m trying to prove to other people that i can change and make things better.

  22. jenna barns on January 24, 2024 at 2:02 PM

    i really liked how you kept repeating “if i were free” every time you started a sentance good work!!

  23. NJ on January 24, 2024 at 7:45 PM

    HW,

    This poem reminds me that as human beings we often only miss the things we have in our lives when they no longer exist for us. This poem teaches gratitude and awareness.

  24. Maya on January 30, 2024 at 5:19 PM

    The use of literary techniques such as anaphora (beginning the lines with the same word) and enjambment (continuing a sentence past the line break) serve to create a unique poem framework. The first line “If I were free” shows the reader the desire and hope for freedom. While, the next line demonstrates the many many things the author misses. This couplet structure emphasizes both the goal (freedom) and the why behind it, which is so very key.

  25. Anna on February 13, 2024 at 12:38 PM

    This is such a nice poem. I love the repetition of “If I were free,” it emphasizes the author’s longing to be free and independent. Ending the poem with an ellipsis also leaves the ending open, allowing the reader to think up more things the author might do if they were free. Comparing prison to a cage also creates a powerful image, implying that the author feels like an animal trapped in a zoo.

  26. AN on February 14, 2024 at 9:39 PM

    HW,
    Your poem is very well constructed and a story of your life. Keep doing what you are doing and progressing toward your goal in your healing process. I hope you are finding ways to express all the thoughts and emotions you may have been bottling up over time.

  27. Claire on February 16, 2024 at 10:30 PM

    Wow, this poem really hits home. It beautifully captures the frustration of feeling trapped and unheard, no matter how much you long to express yourself. I loved how the refrain “If I were free” emphasizes that longing, and the way it’s capitalized at the end adds to the intensity of the emotion. You did an amazing job conveying those feelings.

  28. Bettina on February 17, 2024 at 1:17 PM

    This poem really speaks to me. Your repetition of the phrase “If I were free” emphasizes your fervent longing and desire to be free. It’s clear to me that every word in this poem was carefully curated and placed. This piece of writing is really genuine and straightforward and I admire that. You are confidently stating everything that you want for yourself. The sincerity and emotion in this poem make it stand out.

  29. Pooja Menon on February 18, 2024 at 1:11 PM

    The repetition of the phrase “If I were free” really emphasizes all the possibilities you can imagine in a free life. With the final line being this as well, I really feel the sense of longing in wanting to be free. The ellipsis at the end gives a sense of infinite opportunity. It’s like a trailing list that could go on forever and I really appreciate the extent with which this poem makes the reader feel the intended emotions.

  30. OF on February 18, 2024 at 10:32 PM

    Hello! I really enjoyed reading your poem. I liked how there was repetition of “If I were free” to emphasize your point.

  31. Travis on February 18, 2024 at 11:14 PM

    Thank you for sharing your poem. I like that you used repetition with “if I were free”. It really shows that people grow and change and that mistakes don’t define us, but makes us learn from our mistakes.

  32. Rhythm on February 18, 2024 at 11:43 PM

    The repetition in this poem is very sentimental and thoughtful. You were able to express a feeling of deep longing for what once was, and I applaud that. I hope you will be free soon.

  33. Kennedy Critz on February 23, 2024 at 1:18 PM

    The repetition of if I were free is truly stunning. I admire how the ending of the poems leaves readers thinking what else could come after the repeating phrase. This poem made me open my eyes to how I should really start living in the moment and cherishing the little things. Awesome.

  34. Grace on March 31, 2024 at 1:02 PM

    I love how this poem is so vulnerable and lets others see your emotions and feelings. The line “If I were free, I would prove people can change.” really stuck with me. There are so many people who have been punished for mistakes they made when they were young and it is unjust and unfair. This poem inspires me to work against this and do what I can to make a difference in the lives of people who are incarcerated. Thank you for your deep and inspiring words.

  35. Sierra on March 31, 2024 at 10:49 PM

    This entire poem was beautifully well written, and short yet powerful. My heart goes out to you, and I admire your honesty and your transparency with your work. I can feel your hurt and longing, and I hear you and see you in your writing. This poem speaks numbers, and there were many lines that stuck out to me that left me speechless. “ If I were free, I would prove people can change.”, “If I were free, I would show the world my presence is love, for I am blessed from above.”. These weren’t the only ones, but two that really stuck with me. I can feel the amount of love in your heart through your words, and I know you will prove people you’ve changed. Soon enough you will be able to embrace your loved ones, and I hope you will be free soon. Your work is amazing, and if this is what you’re passionate about, please keep writing more! I’m excited to see what more you’ll create.

  36. Paige on April 5, 2024 at 8:46 PM

    Thank you so much for sharing your poem. It’s a heartfelt piece that beautifully captures the longing for freedom and the value of chances. Your use of repetition effectively emphasizes the preciousness of what one misses when not free, and your message about the capacity for change is powerful and important. Thank you for opening up through your words and sharing something so meaningful.

  37. IL on April 30, 2024 at 11:35 AM

    I really like the repetition of the phrase “If I were free.”! It really makes a powerful impact on me and resonates with me. I would recommend talking about how if you were free, what would you do with others. At the end of the poem, the unfinished line is my favorite part. It shows that there are so many other possible things that could happen. Really, really great!

  38. Sam on May 2, 2024 at 9:58 AM

    I love that your spirit is so full

  39. Sam on May 2, 2024 at 10:00 AM

    This poem is gorgeous

  40. Rylie P. on May 2, 2024 at 4:58 PM

    Such powerful writing, HW. Your poem perfectly showcases the beautiful resilience of the human spirit in the face of misfortune. The rhythmic pattern of “If I were free” through out your work creates a dramatic emphasis that grabs readers attention from the get-go. You express such powerful words and feelings in such a short amount of time, and I couldn’t get enough. Good job, friend.

  41. Jack Chalifoux on May 6, 2024 at 2:12 PM

    I really like this poem. When you’re young we don’t make the best decision but as we get older we get to make better decisions in life so we can fix who we are. It shows how much a little breath means to someone. My favorite line from this poem “ If I were free, I would cherish every moment
    outside of this cage,
    If I were free” even just the little things in this world can make us happy

  42. Katherine Pumphrey on May 6, 2024 at 2:13 PM

    I love that this poem has repetition by using repetition it really make someone think what it is about. My favorite part is in the end you leave the last sentence blank.

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