Feelings

I’m frustrated, I’m mad,
deep down inside I’m sad,
I messed up, I crashed,
I’m really down bad,
I see the light,
it moves further away if I accept my plight
so I struggle, I fight,
I pray that I’ll be guided and be alright.

A part of me feels like I’m dying, as I grow,
if I act like the old me I feel like I’m lying,
I want to live and have a lot to live for,
but living confined in these walls feels like trying to get in a locked door.
No break ins, just bad habits that I have to break out of,
it’s really easy but sometimes I make it tough,
soft hearted from hard,
refined from rough,

I see the road to success
but there is nowhere in here to give this new love,
people will take and keep taking,
Sometimes if I’m nice it feels like I’m faking.
Feelings of contradiction,
the old me was raw and the new me can’t show any feelings.
Sometimes I feel lost even though I’m right there, everyday fighting.
I’ve dreamed new dreams from living a nightmare.