Untitled (Astronaut)
By RP
Mommy,
Can I be an astronaut?
Yes RP. Why not?
All you have to do is give it all you got.
Mommy,
I’m going to be a herpetologist.
Okay RP.
I’ll introduce you to a biologist.
Just give your mother a kiss.
Ma,
I’m grown.
So don’t worry about when I’m coming home.
RP, don’t forget your life goals.
Do not allow yourself to be short sold
Or dead on some lonely road.
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Very inspiring. Clear goals. Reaching for the sky. With support. Great poem.
What a beautiful mix of dreams and motherly love. I love how it starts with big, curious questions and ends with a gentle reminder to stay grounded and safe. It’s sweet, a little funny, and full of heart, like a hug in poem form. RP’s journey from astronaut to herpetologist to grown-up is so real, and the mom’s voice is steady all the way through. It made me smile and think of how love shows up in both encouragement and caution.
This poem captures the growth of a child into adulthood through a simple conversation with their mother. At each stage, the child shares a new dream or sense of independence, and the mother responds with steady encouragement. When the child wants to be an astronaut or a herpetologist, the mother does not question the dream. She supports it and reminds the child to give their best effort. Her voice feels warm and reassuring.
This poem is heartfelt and powerful in its simplicity. The dialogue format makes it feel personal and authentic, almost like we are listening in on real conversations across different stages of life. The repetition of “Mommy” and “Ma” highlights the passage of time, showing the shift from childhood innocence to adult independence. That transition is subtle but emotionally strong.
Hello, I really like the message of your poem. You do portray not giving up on your life goals very well with your poem. Even when you grow up your mom is still there to support you. All in all it’s a good poem keep up the great work!
This poem shows the evolution of a child growing up while a mother continues to encourage and guide them through their dreams. The ending adds a protective, serious tone that highlights a parent’s lasting concern for their child’s safety and future.
Dear RP,
I get childhood wonder, adolescent curiosity, and adult independence all in just a few lines. The emotional arc is so moving for something so brief. Your mothers voice is the heart of the poem. It shows rather than tells, trusts dialogue to carry meaning, and ends on a note that is loving and anxious and real all at once. It has the makings of something truly memorable. I love this poem so much! You have a very raw way of provoking emotion. Please keep writing!
Your poem has a strong emotional core and clear message about dreams, guidance, and growing up. With small improvements to flow and transitions, it could become even more powerful.
RP, I loved this poem. It feels really genuine, like it’s coming straight from real conversations and real moments instead of something forced. I like how it shows growth over time, from being a kid with big dreams to someone older trying to assert independence. That shift is smooth and easy to follow, and it makes the poem feel alive. The dialogue works really well too. It sounds natural, especially lines like “Ma, I’m grown.” Those parts feel personal and relatable, like something a lot of people have actually said or heard. I also like how you kept the language simple. It makes the emotions hit harder because nothing feels overcomplicated or fake. And the ending stands out, it brings in that sense of concern and grounding, like a reminder that sticks with you.
I read this poem twice because I liked it so much, and I wanted to hear all the words and see the images in my mind again. To the author: thank you for writing and for sharing this. I hope you are still pursuing your dreams! And I hope you keep writing as well!
Good advice from a mom who wants the best for a child who’s starting his adult journey from the beginning with so many choices with no sure way of knowing which way is the right way hence the reminder … Don’t forget your life goals …don’t allow yourself to be short sold
Or dead on some lonely road
I liked how you portrayed growing up. Your ideas changed over time and your mom still supported you. No matter what happened your mom still supported you. She gives you advice and helps you lead your life. Overall this is a good poem.
RP, I really enjoyed the formatting and pacing of this poem. The rhyming is incredible as well, still allowing you to showcase the range of life. Life is journey, and it’s all about lessons, but also about keeping your head straight and knowing what you want.
I really loved your use of dialogue and passing of time- it added a lot to the experience as a reader. I also felt a certain rhythm while reading which also has a big impact! You’re doing great!
Your poem beautifully shows the growth from childhood dreams to adulthood reality through a strong mother-child bond.
The shift from “Mommy” to “Ma” is powerful and clearly represents maturity and independence.
Your emotional tone is natural and relatable, especially with the supportive yet cautionary voice of the mother.
With a few small grammar fixes and a smoother transition at the ending, this poem can become even more impactful and polished.
RP there is a lot of wisdom to dreaming about the future. And something I have found to be true is that we are always growing up and never too late to dream about what our future selves will be. I love how you end the poem because we should never forget our goals. Keep up the writing!
Hey, I think this poem if very deep and rich.
My mother never really encourages and believed in my dreams. When your mom said “ I’ll introduce you to a biologist, was over come with tears. Do you think you want to add to the poem like a conclusion?
Hi RP,
I really liked how this poem shows your growth from a child to an adult. The way you talk to your mom feels real and warm. The line about not being “short sold or dead on some lonely road” really stood out to me, it shows care and guidance. It made me think about how important it is to remember where we come from. Thank you for sharing this.
I like the lesson and the way it was laid out.
Poignant and honest. Your dreams matter. Thank you for sharing your work!
Your work brought me to tears. Please, do not stop writing. This is valuable art.
This is so sweet! I love the ending with the aim to continue to strive for your goals!
Hi RP!
I really like how your poem shows growing up and how that relationship changes over time. The dialogue makes it feel super real and personal. The beginning is really uplifting, and I like how the encouragement carries through even as things get more serious. The ending hits strong and ties everything together nicely.
This poem hit me in a way I didn’t expect. The transition from the wide eyed dreams of an ‘astronaut’ to the heavy reality of being ‘grown’ is a journey so many of us understand, but rarely put into words this perfectly.
What moved me the most was the shift in the mother’s voice. In the beginning, she is the wind beneath your wings, but by the end, she is the anchor trying to keep you safe from ‘lonely roads.’ It’s a heartbreakingly beautiful look at how love evolves from helping us fly to just praying we land safely.
Thank you for being so vulnerable. Your words remind me that no matter how much we grow or how far we go, that connection to home and those original life goals are what keep us human. Please keep writing; your voice is a light for anyone who feels like they’re navigating their own lonely road right now
This is a beautiful testament to a mother’s unwavering love and encouragement, capturing the journey from dreaming big to stepping into adulthood. It is deeply moving to see a parent act as both a soft place to land and a fearless guide. What a powerful reminder to always pursue your passion with everything you’ve got!
Hello!
I really enjoyed reading your poem and re-reading it. It was truly so great that I had to read it again. I find it so inspiring how you were able to tell a whole story in just 15 lines, truly amazing. The whole idea of the story is just incredible as well. Going from thinking about what you want to do as a child to then changing that as you grow up. As well as the support from your mother along the way. I find that to be amazing. The entirety of the poem flows together so very greatly. Amazing work RP!
The evolution of the relationship between the mother and child is very interesting to me. I think the shift of word choice, like going from ‘Mommy’ to ‘Ma’ is very effective in showing that and clever. The dialogue also helps to create a more personal tone, which in turn creates a realistic and mature tone by the end of the poem.
I really loved the use of dialogue in this piece; it really makes the progression of time feel so personal and moving. The shift from the innocent dreams of childhood to the heavy realities of adulthood is captured perfectly through the changing tone of the mother’s responses. The final warning to not be “short sold” is a powerful incorporation of imagery that really sticks with the reader. Beautifully done!
Hi RP! I’m very impressed by the use of repetition to illustrate the disillusionment of growing up. It is a great reminder to follow what is important to us and how our family will be there to support us.
I loved this poem! The progression from a child’s wonder to an adult finding his own way hits harder than expected, and that mother’s voice never wavers, steady and real throughout.
RP– I love how this poem captures the relationship between mother and child through differed life phases. The tenderness of the mother really moved me— the way she encourages big dreams—an astronaut or a herpetologist. And the beautiful simplicity of “Just give your mother a kiss.” Such a warm and real moment.
The ending is powerful because the mother’s voice becomes protective and urgent. Her reminder not to forget life goals, not be sold short. This poem really says quite a lot in a short space— childhood ambition, a mother’s constant faith in her child, and hope that we can never stop reaching for the life we dream of. Thank you so much for sharing.
Elizabeth
Hello. I really like your poem. I hope you keep writing, or at least understand how appreciated your poetry is, and what you have to say. I also hope you’re able to achieve what you where striving for (or have already achieved it, or found a new dream etc. In other words, I hope you are doing well). Next time I feel like straying, I’ll be thinking about this. Thank you.
Hello. I really like your poem. I hope you’re able to achieve what you where striving for (or have already achieved it, or found a new dream etc. In other words, I hope you are doing well). Next time I feel like straying, I’ll be thinking about this. Thank you.