One Sweet Day
By VH
It touched my heart just to hear from you
For my world’s been upside down, you can only imagine what I’m
Going through
I’ve traveled that road and I’ve had enough
And I’ve come to learn that I’m not really that tough
Grown men cry, I’m living proof
And the pain I’ve endured is beyond the truth
I need someone like you to stand by my side
Someone to be there, to let me know I’m still alive
Right now I’m in hell, I feel home’s a lot like heaven
So make a toast with me on that day and night the clock strikes eleven
I can hear their whispers, those dead that I love
Be there to save me, the other turtle dove
I want a life for me, my son, and…
A shoulder to cry on, a friend to take my hand
My road was dangerous but still I’m left to be
So don’t be just a voice in the wind, be like the shadow that walks beside me
Going away’s like drowning, so hard to breathe
And it’s time that I let go, to God I concede
I know you’re there and you’re really not that far away
Just know I’ll see you soon and that’ll be one sweet day
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The poets featured here are currently incarcerated, and many of them are in federal prisons far from home. Your feedback is a valuable source of motivation and connection to the outside community. Post your comments, feedback, and encouragement in the space below the poem. Messages will be passed on directly to the author. Comments may not appear immediately on the site, as our team processes them to mail to the poets.
Hi VH. I was touched by your poem, and I think you have a beautiful way with words. I want you to know that it’s ok to not be tough all the time. Sometimes it feels like everything is crumbling around us, and in those times all we can do is not lose hope. I don’t know your story but I pray that you stay strong and know that there are people who care about you and your son. God bless!
VH,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I also believe that grown men do cry, it’s a marker of passion and resilience. I believe that you will get out and provide a better life both for yourself and your son! Your sweet day will come soon, stay strong.
– Mona
VH, I really enjoyed reading your poem because it is very emotional. It sounds like you are going through a lot and I hope that you can find peace and that you have that one sweet day very soon. I really liked how you ended the poem with those words and brought it back to the title, shining light on the meaning of the whole poem. I hope to read some more of your work.
It’s brave to admit when we aren’t as tough as we think we are . It’s okay for grown men to cry you all are human after all. I think emotions from the lowest lows to highest highs , tell us that we are alive. That sweet day will be one of highest highs of them all.
You do a good job expressing your emotions. The descriptive language is also great.
This is a really touching poem – it really helps to express human connection and how impactful it is!
I can feel the pain the author is going through and how much “VH” needs support.. I just want to say that the author who wrote this poem is already so strong by expressing his/ her feelings. Just know that there are people who love you and support you! I believe that everyone in their life feels lonely at one point and it’s important to find a way to do things that numb the pain a little- day by day. I loved how this poem was easy to understand and relate to.
This poem shows how no matter what age, gender or upbringing you are from, you would always need someone whom you can trust that you can rely on. Having a support system is vital to our well-being and mental health.
VH,
This is a beautiful poem. It brought tears to my eyes. I want you to remember that you matter, that your life matters, and that you are not alone. The lines “I’ve traveled that road and I’ve had enough
And I’ve come to learn that I’m not really that tough
Grown men cry, I’m living proof
And the pain I’ve endured is beyond the truth”
really touched me. I think we’re so harsh on men, so unflinching in our unrealistic and unhealthy standards of masculinity, that we don’t let men be real, three dimensional, feeling people. What does it mean to be tough? Life is a trip, and it breaks down even the strongest people. I think strength is in resilience and growth from adversity, not from stoicism and toughness. I love your poem and I’m very grateful that you’re sharing your work with the world. Keep writing and be gentle with yourself. You are wonderful.
This is such a beautiful poem that lays out such tender emotions. Thank you for sharing it!
VH, this poem displays the deep connections that one forms with family, and the hurt that can come when you are separated from them. Keep holding on to what you said in the last line–know that you will see them soon, and rejoice in that fact.
I find myself deeply resonating with the sorrow in this poem, despite never having gone through these emotions myself. you do such a good job of making your sorrows seem so relatable and raw and human. The simple structure of the poem helps cleanly divide the poem and allows it to flow, with every line perfectly fitting with the one before it. great poem
This is absolutely beautiful. The last line of the poem I was able to create a whole story with just those 12 words. It makes my stomach bunch up in anticipation for you and meeting that special person on that sweet day. Congratulations on how far you’ve come and I could not be more excited for you and the day that will be oh so sweet. Good luck with everything.
your feelings really come through in this poem. keep your strength, you are surely strong. know that you are not alone and keep looking forward to the day you can go home
I really loved this poem. The opening line made me think about how much a few words can mean from the right person. I hope you’re able to see this person and your son again very soon. The line “so don’t be just a voice in the wind, be like the shadow that walks beside me” was my favorite. The shadow metaphor is beautiful and really helped me see how this person has been by you for a lot. I can tell they are by your side even there when the two of you are apart. Keep writing!
Your poem is so vivid. The vulnerability and way you put your feelings into such beautiful words is amazing. I like how you included a rhyming structure too, it really brings everything together. Keep looking towards the brighter days.
Hey VH,
I love your Poem, it is nothing wrong crying as being a grown man. Just wanted to say like your poem and i did not see anything that needs to be fix.
Have a nice day!
Hi! I absolutely loved your poem. I could feel the emotion while reading it. Although it made me feel sad, I can tell that you’re full of hope and want nothing more than for someone to be by your side. I loved how you said that you were living proof that grown men cried. In a society like today, that would be hard for some people to admit, but you have a lot of courage. I also loved the stanza about your son and I love how you include God. Overall, this was an outstanding poem and I pray that your life gets better and I honestly wish you nothing but the best! <3
Beautiful poem. I love the lines “it touched my heart just to hear from you” and “going away’s like drowning, so hard to breathe”
This is a lovely poem, so many of the lines you used conveyed your emotions in such a real and intense way, like “Right now I’m in hell, I feel home’s a lot like heaven”.
This poem is beautiful! I really liked the way you utilized a rhyme scheme while still making the poem feel mature and powerful, which is not always easy to do. For so many different reasons, everyone needs someone to rely on and this poem expresses that powerfully.
Hi,
I really enjoyed your poem. I encourage you to keep writing and share your inspiring work.
Particularly what I love about your poem, is that who you are writing to is unclear. People can read this and apply it to their family, spouse, friend, whoever. This poem appeals to a broad audience.
In the second stanza, I don’t think that side and alive rhyme. But overall the rhyming scheme helps the poem flow.
Does going away refer to death or to leaving this person behind?
Thank you for sharing your work with me!
Dear VH,
My name is Karl, and I learned about the Free Minds Book club recently and read through the poems on the site. A lot of the poems on the blog stood out to me, but by far, yours titled “One Sweet Day” stood out the most. I found myself in awe at your deep imagery and word selection. Your powerful stanzas had me gripped to every new line. The journey from the start to the finish of the poem was very impactful, you start at the beginning with a flood of depression and emptiness, and finish with a storm of optimism and hope. A lot of your poem had to do with religion, and as a very religious person myself, I found that to be very impactful. I am a regular church goer as well as a summer camp counselor at a Christian overnight bible camp. The rhythm that you provide with your bars as well as the rhyming scheme is absolutely beautiful. The words speaking from your heart and trying to express what you’re going through while incarcerated is very moving, as well as your description of the loss of family members and the impact that has had on you. Your description of your unbelievable pain is heart-wrenching. Your simple requests of a shoulder to cry on or a life for you and your son are both agonizing and stirring. You should be proud of your work on this poem, as it is very moving. I hope that things will change for the better in your situation and that writing poem will help you lift yourself to a higher place.
Sincerest regards,
Karl
To VH,
Hi, I’m JY. Those feelings of hardship and the wanting for some support is something that I can relate to. The words you use to describe how much you want someone to be able to support you through it all is very heartfelt. The comparison to a voice in the wind and a shadow that walks beside you gave me a vivid imagery of wanting that person to instead of distantly be there, you wanted them to be right by your side. The feeling of separation are strong and I felt it while reading your poem. Some lines I also appreciated very much were “I’ve traveled that road and I’ve had enough / And I’ve come to learn that I’m not really that tough” and “Right now I’m in hell, I feel home’s a lot like heaven.” These lines convey the hardships that you’ve been through and I feel them. I also feel with how you added in that men are able to express their feelings with how the usual stigma is that they can’t. Being able to express whatever you’re feeling whether it be physically or through writing is important for everyone, and I’m glad poetry is a way you can express yours. Your title “One Sweet Day” resonates well with the poem, and I like how it’s kind of a hope for the future along with how you are going to see them soon. I’ve grown up without a father to support me as I was growing up. The wanting for a better life for you and your son moved me very much with how you want to be able to be there for him and give him a better life too. The support that a father can give to their son is something that I didn’t have, but I hope you can give that to your son. Wanting to give your son a better future is very respectable and I hope that you and your son are able to have a happy future.
Thanks much,
JY
Beautiful poem! I really liked the third and fourth stanzas, and how they talk about connection and people, that really spoke to me. The line about your son really hit.
Hi again VH. This poem seems to be that you are writing to another person, regretting the choice you made of travelling a road, while ultimately realizing you made a mistake. Understanding your insecurities and writing them down is what makes you grow as a person, so I applaud you for that. The addition of the turtle dove is unique too, as turtle doves represent love. I have done some research, and it turns out that turtle doves mate for life and raise their offspring together. I find it heartwarming to see that the person this poem is dedicated to is being referred to as a turtle dove. There are quite a few questions that arise when I was reading your poem that I am interested in knowing. I am curious about the road that was travelled, and I am curious about the symbolism of the clock striking eleven. I am not sure if eleven is a critical hour for you. Nevertheless, I love the recurring theme of whispers and voices as it prompted me to try to engage in hearing voices myself. I only wish that there were more, since two seems a bit short. Three is the magic number. I am not sure if you were writing to a fictional person, or a real person in your life, but regardless, I hope this comment fills the loneliness. Take care for me, VH.
Dear VH, I got bittersweet feelings from this poem. There is lots of love and hope spilling from your words, but it’s clear that sorrow, loneliness, and time will be huge barriers to overcome to get to the happiness you write about. I wish you strength and patience as you strive towards a new chapter in your life. My heart hurts for you but also prays for you! Warm regards, Roxanne
That was very sweet. Your longing is shown through your word choice, which is very impressive. You were able to put to words what was in your heart and a really nice poem was the product of that.
This is a beautiful poem VH! I can only imagine how difficult it is to be separated from your loved ones, especially your son, but I empathize with you on your journey, and I wish you a speedy path towards reuniting with them. If I was to make a critique, I found the line “And the pain I’ve endured is beyond the truth” confusing. Another small thing I noticed was that the phrase “to God I concede” felt a bit clunky to me, though it did rhyme, so take that with a grain of salt. I really enjoyed reading this poem; it felt heartfelt and transparent, and I’d love to read more by you!
This poem is evidence that you, the author, have done some real work in personal growth and development, and learned about yourself, your needs, and the importance of companionship. The language is direct and the lessons you’ve learned are clear. The vulnerability you recognize in yourself is deeply human, and deeply admirable. It’s easy to put up a front of self-reliance – what’s less easy is admitting what you cannot do by yourself. Well done and thank you.
Dear VH,
I found this poem so moving and so touching. I think it’s your vulnerability and longing that came through so strongly. You are addressing someone and something like fate, asking for mercy, for companionship on the long road. The line “so don’t just be a voice in the wind, be like the shadow that walks beside me”…. it rings like a bell. There’s something very real in this poem, that is reaching across time and space to me. I hope you keep writing, keep finding those images that sing, keep finding the strength in your mature vulnerability.
Best,
Heather
This poem perfectly captures what it means to be human. We are social creatures and when we are separated from all forms of connection and human love, then it takes such a toll. I hope one sweet day comes soon.
Dear VH,
It’s hard to be separated from those you love and those you knew for such a long time. It is going to be tough, but you have the resilience. You can make it through. So many people care for you in the same way you do for them. Carry that with you. I like your poem because it deals so much with the uncertainty we all face everyday. While one can never be certain, one can always maintain hope. Keep your hopes up and keep writing!
You wrote, “And I’ve come to learn that I’m not really that tough”. I want to point out that owning your mistakes and living up to your past is proving that you are tough. Showing your vulnerable side is something only the strong can do. You are not alone and this poem proves you are working. Each moment does not last forever which should be enough to keep going. It sounds like you are still regretting your mistakes. Know that everyone makes mistakes some may be bigger than others, but that’s okay. You can not go back to change it but one thing you can do is change your future. Accept you made a mistake and work toward a plan to pave a new path for your future. You can still make you life beautiful and worthy.
VH,
Thank you for your vulnerability! I can feel your struggles. What a blessing love is though! It keeps us going through the painful times you describe. Keep pushing forward!
I loved your poem! I think you included a lot of amazing imagery and strong words that showed a lot of emotion. I feel like your poem was also extremely relatable because it not only reference what you were going through, but this could be read about many different hard situations people may be going through. i loved reading your poem, thank you for sharing!
This was really touching to read. I appreciate the vulnerability and emotion. Keep writing!
We are so happy you shared your story. This poem is very powerful, and you are really talented in expressing your words in such an artistic way. We can feel the emotion and anguish as we read. Please keep writing!
I really like how this poem rhymed I think it really tied the story all together. It is okay to not always be tough all of the time and have emotions and feelings. Your poem is also relatable and may help others that might be going through the same thing. Thank you for sharing your poem! Great job!
I like how your poem rhymed and the way you phrased each line. The story you tell about being vulnerable and expressing emotions is so important because sometimes because feel like they have to put on a mask and fake how they feel. You also talk about family which is another thing that stood out to me and wanted someone to be there for you through these hard times. Thank you for sharing your poem and keep up the amazing writing!
Very emotional poem about family and love. Thanks for expressing the vulnerability in us all that grown men do cry. It is expected of men to display strength and be tough but that also robs you of being able to express an emotion that is within us all.
Being away from family is hard. I can’t imagine being locked away and knowing my family is living their lives outside these walls. But just now one day you’ll see them. Your piece connects to the reader and makes the reader appreciate what they have.
VH, I really like this poem because you were honest and said what most people would just lie about, and you showed that not all the time are we the toughest and its ok to fail sometimes, as long as you learn and try harder the next time, I also really like your ending of the poem especially when you said “Going away’s like drowning, so hard to breathe
And it’s time that I let go, to God I concede
I know you’re there and you’re really not that far away
Just know I’ll see you soon and that’ll be one sweet day”
it is a sad but heart touching ending that really brought the picture to my mind.
Your poem is so touching and your words are so strong. Your poem made me feel like I want to help in any way that I can. Thank you for sharing your words with people. It is totally okay for a grown man to cry, everybody needs to cry at times it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human. Being away from your family must be so hard but you will always have them in your heart.
I can really feel your pain and suffering in this poem. Its okay to be a man and cry, and I appreciate that your are able to realize your need to reach out to a friend for help. I know that you’ll be able to provide your son and yourself a great life in the future, and cheers to the day that the two of your are reunited. I really am able to connect to the words and themes of your poem, and I appreciate your willingness to share your story when it is one so volatile and vulnerable. I’m wishing you all the best in the future.
VH,
This poem is truly so powerful! I love the use of the hidden rhyme scheme throughout your poem. It really enhances your work and makes the poem flow so well. I love that you chose to wrote about being away from the people you love. I go to college about 4 hours away from my hometown and it is difficult for me to see them enjoying and doing things I am not able to be apart of. Great poem, you are a terrific writer and I hope you continue to pursue it!