Letter to Myself

By Sam

Dear Sam,

Get it right
Time is ticking away quickly
Stage IV
5 cm. x 7 cm.

Get it right
Spend as much time with her as possible
Don’t explode
Make allowances

Get it right
Get out of here ASAP
Kick the habit
Don’t come back

Get it right
Make the time count
Love her like never before
Hold on tight

Get it Right!

As always,
Sam

Samuel wrote this poem after learning that his mother has lung cancer. The measurements refer to the size of the tumor.

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6 Comments

  1. Tony Keith Jr. on July 13, 2017 at 12:05 PM

    I like the “Dear self” aspect of this piece. I think if you wanted to develop it further, you could extend the correlation of the size of the cancer to the size of your heart and how much love, can be our biggest healer. My best to your mom.

  2. Kathy on July 13, 2017 at 12:18 PM

    This is a very powerful poem. I really like the way you use short, clipped phrases to convey important actions and emotions. You put yourself out there and let the reader connect, because most of us have been in the position where we feared for the health of a loved one. I’m sorry that your mother is so sick, and I hope that things will go as well as possible for her.

  3. R on July 21, 2017 at 11:20 AM

    Incredibly moving. It’s concise, yet descriptive. Keep going! Being vulnerable makes for a powerful piece, which you’ve done here! Prayers for your mom, you and your family.

  4. Sarah S on July 25, 2017 at 10:21 PM

    This poem is able to say so much in so few words and such short sentences. I think the fact that this is written as a letter to yourself makes it even more powerful, because most poems are written as speaking to someone else, so turning it back onto yourself is surprising and meaningful. I hope that your mother gets better, and no matter what happens, I hope you can find peace and comfort knowing that you are a loving and caring son.

  5. AR on November 21, 2020 at 1:56 PM

    Wow, Sam, this is… incredibly moving. It stirred emotions in me and said a message that I think we often times don’t want to hear, but need to hear it anymore. Thank you for this. I hope you and your family are doing okay during these times.

  6. SAMUEL RANKIN on January 10, 2023 at 1:16 AM

    UPDATE…..
    MY MOTHER WAS DIAGNOSED WITH THE CANCER IN 2017 WHILE I WAS AT DC JAIL ON A PROBATION VIOLATION. SHE WAS ALLOWED TO HAVE A CONTACT VISIT WITH ME TO BREAK THE NEWS. I FINISHED THAT YEAR AND A DAY SENTENCE AND WAS HOME IN SPRING OF 2018. AND TRIED TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND MY MOTHER’S ILLNESS. I GOT NO HELP FROM HER IN TERMS OF PREPARING ME FOR WHAT WAS TO COME. YOU SEE MY MOTHER WAS GOING TO BE FINE….SHE WAS CONFIDENT GOD WAS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF HER. SO SHE CONTINUED WITH HER LIFE PRETTY MUCH AS SHE ALWAYS HAD. INSANITY….
    I WOUND UP VIOLATING PROBATION AGAIN….AND WAS BACK AT THE JAIL APRIL OF 2018 AND GOT A 20 MONTH SENTENCEWITH ALL SUPERVISION TERMINATED AT THE CONCLUSION OF CONFINEMENT. I KNEW THAT CHANCES WERE MY MOTHER WOULD DIE WHILE I WAS SERVING THIS LAST SENTENCE……I WAS EVDNTUALLY SHIPPED OUT TO MY FED DESIGNATION IN OCTOBER…
    AND LESS THAN TEN DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL I LEARNED MY MOTHER HAD FALLEN IN THE HOME AND BROKE HER LEFT FEMUR….SHE WAS ADMITTED TO THE HOSPITAL AND THE FOLLOWING TUESDAY SHE HAD SURGERY TO REPLACE THE FEMUR….I SPOKE TO HER ON THE PHONE IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE SURGERY AND SHE WAS LUCID COHEENT AND MAKING SENSE. THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I EVER SPOKE TO MY MOTHER. THAT SATURDAY I WAS SENT FOR BY A COUNSELOR. I WAS TO CALL THE HOSPITAL AS HER ONCOLOGIST HAD REQUESTED. I GOT HER ROOM AND MY COUSIN WAS THERE….AND I WAS TOLD TO SAY GOODBYE TO MY MOTHER….IT WAS LIKE I WAS SAYING GOODBYE TO DARTH VADER . SHE WAS HOOKED UP TO MACHINES AND SHE SOUNDED JUST LIKE DARTH…..I SAID GOODBYE TOLD HER I LOVED HER AND I WOULD BE FINE….THANKED HER AND WAS A EMOTIONAL WRECK…..I GOT NO RESPONSE FROM HER. MY COUSIN SID MY MOTHERS EYES SPARKLED WHEN SHE HEARD MY VOICE OVER THE PHONE. THAT WAS SATURDAY AND SHE WAS ADMITTED TO A HOSPICE PROGRAM MONDAY AFTERNOON AND MOVED TO THE NEW FACILITY. LESS THAN TWO HOURS LATERSHE WAS DEAD. THAT WAS NOVEMBER 5TH 2018. I COULDNT DEAL WITH IT WHILE I WAS STILL IN PRISON. SO ALL MY EMOTIONS RELATED TO THIS PROFOUND LOSS WERE PUT IN A BOX AND TIED UP WITH STRING AND PUT ON A SHELF JUST WAITING FOR MY RELEASE SO I COULD GRIEVE PROPERLY. IT WAS A LONG EIGHT MONTHS BEFRE I WAS RELEASEDIN AUGUST OF 2019….I CAME HOME TO THE ONLY HOME I HAVE EVER KNOWN….AND SHE WAS GONE. RARELY DOES A MINUTE PAS THAT I DONT THINK OF HER AND MISS HER. I WILL NEVER GET OVER HER LOSS. THAT’S JUST THE WAY IT IS. I LOVE HER SO MUCH.
    THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME GET THAT OUT OF MY SYSTEM.

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