Closet Monster
By AB
I’ll never forget the first time we kissed, Bruno Mars was singing one of his hits
We stayed behind on that school ski trip
You had such soft lips, but that’s where the fairy tale ends
You and I we were never friends, you didn’t even try to pretend
We kissed in your dorm room, and you told me not to tell, otherwise I’d go to hell
You never thought I knew, about all the times you looked my way
Every time you watched me play, guitar strings like heart strings wound to tight to breathe
You used to say I wasn’t worth you, but you’d sneak in after curfew…
All those secret games of truth or dare, all those times when you were there
Now I’m just trying to come to terms with it, you and all your silly shit
I think it’s time to take a hit, pot smoke, hold it, choke
Choke, like that time you choked me, red is all I see
Me pinned to your bed, you telling me I’d soon be dead
You, stuck with all those crazy thoughts inside your head
Kurt Cobain
Now here I stand off to the side, watching them lower you down, down out of sight
Out of sight, out of mind, but now I’ll never get you out of my mind
Now the past is all I see, these days they call that PTSD
You never saw things the way I see, you could have meant so much to me
So, to me, you’ll always be, my Closet Monster
27 Comments
Leave a Comment
The poets featured here are currently incarcerated, and many of them are in federal prisons far from home. Your feedback is a valuable source of motivation and connection to the outside community. Post your comments, feedback, and encouragement in the space below the poem. Messages will be passed on directly to the author. Comments may not appear immediately on the site, as our team processes them to mail to the poets.
Wow, this was such an impactful poem. the subtle switch from the honeymoon phase to abuse and trauma is scary and snuck up on me before i even could process what I was reading. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, and I hope that the Closet Monster will leave you in peace one day
AB,
Thanks so much for sharing this poem. It must have been really hard to write about someone who brought you so much happiness but also so much pain. I like how you tied it back to the title with the last line, it really concludes it perfectly. Well done.
The title “Closet Monster” first give me the impression that this poem is going to be scary, but it is not the case. It started by describing a sweet story between a couple and they love each other. However, the ending is tragic and one of them can’t seem to forget about the other. Even if they separated their images are still engraved on each other’s mind. No matter where they go, they can’t escape from the thoughts of others.
Hey AB!
I can definitely relate to this poem. It was very powerful and I had a similar experience unfortunately when I was diagnosed with PTSD. It’s really messed up that the people who we love or want to love can treat us in such ways. I hope you learn from this because it took me a couple of times to break the cycle.
Sincerely,
CD
Wow, this poem is extremely dark and powerful. The way that the words flow makes your story really easy for the reader to follow along. I feel that we all have our closet monsters that follow us around and haunt us as we make our way through life. I really connected to this poem and your message that things that can appear so perfect can often have a dark side. I understand the pain of trauma and thank you for this story and journey you have taken us on. This is a wonderful poem, and I hope to read more from you in the future.
Hi AB,
Nice poem about relationships. Your use of personification, “Closet Monster” gives the idea of your past relationship as if it were a monster that still haunts you.
Thanks for sharing your work with us, I’d like to hear more from you.
This is wonderful….
I love the rhythm and rhyming of this poem, and the evocative lines with the perfect amount of details putting me right in the scene without being obvious or explicit. It’s deep and emotional without being sentimental. Great poem!
I really empathize with this poem. People with such extreme internalized homophobia that they take their anger at themselves and society out on the people they experience attraction to are all too common. They never acknowledge the genuine pain and hurt they cause because they’re so caught up in their own feelings that they don’t care. I hope you find solace in the fact that it wasn’t your fault what happened to you. Other than the topic, I like your rhyming scheme, and I get the feeling that this is probably meant to be a song? Maybe I’m wrong but it seems like it. Plus the pun of “Closet Monster” is clever.
Hi AB, I want to thank you for sharing. I love a lot of things about this poem. Your openness to expressing your feelings, to describing how your feelings changed, to using the poetic form in such an interesting and creative way that supports your message is brave and strong. You have a real talent for writing.
Wow. This was a thirty second read, but it was a roller coaster for sure. The emotion and description throughout the whole thing made it very easy to follow along and paint a picture. This is a crazy poem, and I will certainly be thinking about it for quite a while.
AB,
This is a very powerful piece. Thank you for sharing this. The imagery you create with sneaking in after curfew, lowering into the ground, and a monster in the closet captures the raw feelings you display. A monster in the closet perfectly embodies the hurt we wish we could forget.
This was a great poem AB. I really enjoyed the read.
This is a very powerful work of art. The imagery you create, specially with the part ” lowering into the ground” . I feel your pain yet also the love being conveyed throughout this poem. You are strong and PTSD is not easy to live with. I hope you find ways to create peace knowing the love you shared with one another. Keep writing as an escape. We are here to listen
“Closet Monster” by AB is a haunting and emotional poem that explores themes of unrequited love, secrecy, and trauma. The speaker reflects on their past relationship with someone who never fully accepted their feelings, and the pain that resulted from that rejection. The use of music and pop culture references, such as Bruno Mars and Kurt Cobain, adds a layer of nostalgia and longing to the poem. The imagery of being choked and told that they would soon be dead is chilling and speaks to the trauma and abuse the speaker endured. The final lines, “So, to me, you’ll always be, my Closet Monster,” encapsulates the complexity of the speaker’s feelings towards their former lover, acknowledging the pain and trauma they caused while still holding onto the love that was never fully reciprocated. Overall, “Closet Monster” is a powerful and raw exploration of the lasting impact of unrequited love and trauma.
Wow this poem was a rollercoaster and took me through the stages so artfully. It started off so light, reminiscent of puppy love and took a sharp turn to the abuse. I was surprised by the ending but loved tying in the name of the poem at the end.
Hi AB, this poem really touched me, although I can’t say I have gone through anything similar to that through your writing, I feel like I am there experiencing it with you. I can almost feel all the pain and agony that experience caused you, and I feel that through your writing you might be able to heal in a way, as well as share your story and empower others. Your writing was so well done and I hope to read more from you.
Hi AB, I thought you poem was absolutely beautiful. The rhyme and rhythm brought the words to life and made the feelings so evident and strong. It must have been difficult sharing about those difficult times in your life and about a person who made such an impact on you, and I thought it was amazing how you were able show those thoughts, emotions, and scenes. I hope you share more poems because your poem “closet monster” is so powerful.
Your poem meant was so connecting I am sorry you had to go though at of that pain I hope that your closet monster leaves you in peace
This is a very impactful poem, I know it must be hard come to terms with this type of thing but you’re a trooper for that! Thank you for speaking out!
AB, wow, this is so powerful. I’m sorry for the death of this special person. Even Closet Monsters can capture our hearts. This line really speaks to me: “Every time you watched me play, guitar strings like heart strings wound to tight to breathe.”
Your poem conveys a sense of pain, confusion, and emotional turmoil. The repetition of the phrase “you and I were never friends” creates a sense of distance and disconnect, even as the narrator reflects on a past moment of intimacy. The line “guitar strings like heart strings wound too tight to breathe” is a powerful image that captures the intensity of the narrator’s emotions.
Your poem is a powerful exploration of a complex and emotionally charged relationship. The use of vivid imagery and raw emotions creates such a compelling piece that leaves a lasting impact on the readers. You beautifully described the emotions of love, betrayal, and trauma showing the sense of turmoil and conflict. The contrast between the initial sweetness of the relationship and the darker, more traumatic moments adds to the emotional impact of the poem.
AB,
This poem was incredibly well written and I commend you for your vulnerability. The feeling of someone who once showed you so much love who then brings you so much pain is hard to describe, but you did a fantastic job of that. I hope you will continue to write and share your stories, you have a wonderful way of connecting and bringing an audience into the story with you.
I hope you can find peace with the monster in your closet and can find someone that can reciprocate your feelings. The change from innocent love to abuse sent a powerful message that really stuck with me as a reader. Thank you for sharing this poem.
Your poem captures the complexity of a past relationship, with bittersweet memories of moments shared, but also painful truths and unresolved emotions. It touches on themes of betrayal, abuse, and the lingering impact of past experiences. The use of specific details and references adds depth to the emotions expressed, creating a vivid and impactful portrayal of a relationship that has left a lasting mark. The lingering what if and sadness is so strong and I hope you soon can overcome your closet monster.
Really powerful, wonderful stuff. Your rhyming is excellent, and the music references throughout help tie everything together. I also liked how you incorporated the title at the very end, capitalized and all. It makes it feel like the whole thing came back around to the start. I felt really affected by your words. Thank you so much for sharing this with others.