Play Time is Over
By GB
If you knew me, you knew everything to me was a game
Took nothing serious, being responsible was considered lame
I would call myself a man, but nowhere near grown up
Complete juvenile, and no idea what was really up
Up the sleeve of reality, I didn’t even see the real world coming
The real world hit me hard, and the punch was really something
If it wasn’t for the punch to wake me up
I’d still be walking around acting like a toddler
The punch was my girl is pregnant, and I’m going to be a father
Everything that was a joke became real serious and fast
I want to be in my child’s future, so I got to leave the old me in the past
Cause being a good father has nothing to do with luck
Not even if you got a four leaf clover
Clowning around has been cut short, the game clock has struck 0:00
So, Play Time Is Over!!!
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I really like the analogy of being a child who can’t grow up and accept reality, especially combined with the fact that you’re going to have a child soon. My favorite line is “Cause being a good father has nothing to do with luck/Not even if you got a four leaf clover.” It’s so true and you’re smart to realize that now– a lot of people don’t until it’s too late. But the poem shows that you have clearly learned from your mistakes and now you’re ready to be an adult!
I love how you start and end the poem with images of playing a game (“the game clock has struck 0:00”) which puts the title and last line of “Play Time Is Over” in context and creates a strong image – I’m picturing you playing a game of basketball as a kid then leaving the court as a man after the game ends. I think it would be really cool if you could find more ways to work images like that into the rest of the poem to keep bringing the reader back to the contrast between yourself playing around and then being serious and committed after the “punch” that the real world gave you. I love your attitude – your child will be so lucky to have such a loving, caring dad who understands the importance of being mature. Keep it up!
I see a fantastic dad in the works here! Maintain your positive support group and keep writing!! Share your feelings as grow into your manhood. We are waiting for more. 🙂 Nice work!
I like how this poem is serious AND playful. What works for me is how you open with up with the game metaphor, and then in the end your land your own “punch” with the game time being over, at 0:00. In the middle of the poem, the game is boxing, which also works. I think the fact that poem is both playful and serious makes me feel more persuaded that the poet is for real in wanting to do the best by his son.
GB, I enjoy your poem, I appreciate how you realized that you needed to change and I hope that you continue to change as an individual.