Untitled

By VC

Sit in a cell 24/7/365 and tell me if you can think straight
Boxed in/locked in/no family/no friend
Just a beginning/no end/can’t breathe/no air
Mind gone with the wind/aging fast/seeing the skin peel
Seeing the hair turn grey/seeing where was once a smile
Turn to despair/dying from thirst/drinking your own tears
Knowing it can’t get no worse/bags below the eyes
You hear that soothing voice/let it out/for everybody cries

The Tears I Cry

By DWS

Look in my eyes
& you’ll see the tears I cry

As I lie back on my bed
The vivid memories of my family
& I flow through my head, I’ll be a liar
If I say, I didn’t see this coming

Growing up in the city of D.C
Wasn’t always peaches & cream for me
I was always told by many I’m worthless
& would never amount to anything

Many nights I’ve set in the dark
Wondering if there was someone
There who could heal my broken heart.

My father was never there
So my mother had to do it alone
Struggling just to make ends meet
Raising 6 kids in a 3 bedroom home
To see my mother do this taught me that
Women are very strong, & I praise her
Every day for not leaving me alone

That’s why it hurt me
Because I never got the chance to truly thank her
& say goodbye because I was sitting in an 8.10 cell
When she died, just the thought of it
Brings tears to my eyes

Now look at me & tell me
Can you see the tears I cry

The people I thought loved me
1 by 1 all started to dissipate
& I realize they were never there for love
It was just the material things & again I find myself
Feeling alone like I once did before

& I yearn for my heart to be healed once more
But the biggest pain of all makes
Me feel ashamed & weak so much so
That I catch myself crying in my sleep
& that’s knowing I’ve abandoned
My children as my father did &
Becoming him was something I never
Thought I’ll be. Wondering will they
Hate me like I hated him makes
Me shiver in fear from limb to limb

The black white walls of my cell
Turns into a movie screen
& the memories of my past become
My mental pain

I start to feel my eyes water
& then the tears flow
& I think to myself
When will my pain go
Inshallah it’s soon
But, I have to remain patient
Until I come to know

Although people see me smile
& laugh a lot
I often wonder if they can also
Look at me & see

The Tears I Cry

My Story

By TD

Just two months ago my mom passed away
My girl moved on, now I’m feeling like Tom Hanks in Cast Away
Knives was just at my throat and I didn’t fight them
Dudes just robbed me because my shirt not tucked in my boxers and I don’t say, “Slim,” like them
My daughter only 11, sending me pictures with her hand on her hip
My son just turned 13, thinking about a hand on a clip
But don’t get me wrong, my baby mama a great mother
Besides these last 10 years, her and my best friend been sleeping with each other
I just called home from the (shu), my brother denied 8 calls
But when I was home selling drugs, he never denied 8 balls
Dudes been talking about me because of my situations
And even though I was in pain, I never once asked the nurse for medication
And when everybody was complaining, I still didn’t complain
Some went crazy and I still maintained
And when everybody was crying, I cried inside
Now I understand when Jadakiss said, “Why?”
I picked up a Qur’an, now I see what I didn’t use to see
And as I sit back and listen to a lot of these dudes, they remind me of who I used to be
But you know what hurts the most is when you gotta tell a story
About the people you love doing you wrong
The same family, friends, girls, so-called loyal ones
Posting on Facebook and Instagram, “Free me to come home”
(Damn)

P.S. God created men weak and it’s the trials and tribulations we go through that make us strong. We have to have responsibilities, and if you don’t have that, you’re not a man yet. See I thought I was a man also when I was buying cars, jewelry, blowing money, and having any woman I wanted. See I was a boy not understanding life because none of that stuff made me strong. None. If most of us died today, we won’t even have insurance on ourselves. See we desire the wrong things in life. Please, please change. A wise man always told me, “If you can’t change the people around you, then change the people around you.”

Mastering the Pain

By JG

Feeling everything so deeply
Can be a gift and a curse
My happiness is true bliss
Everything just works
Suddenly, joy is replaced with pain
Clear skies fill up with rain
I try to hold on
But can’t seem to maintain
My skies darken
Turmoil sets in
Damn
Never knew the mind could be like a wilderness one could be lost in
Lost many battles
Acting on impulse
Reacting with uncontrolled emotion
Never pausing to consider a reasonable course
I’ve felt the fire countless times
Intensified by a prison cell
12 by 9
A victim stance was my position
Playing the blame game
Meanwhile, in reality
My condition remained the same
Most my lessons come the hard way
But were received nonetheless
My understanding is that much greater
I feel truly blessed
Being a thought of Allah made manifest
I consciously create
Striving every day to be the captain of this ship
The true master of my fate
The war is far from won
But my book is far from done
I have nothing to lose
But everything to gain
These first few chapters have been spent
Mastering the pain
Learning how to love
Breaking my mental chains
Rising above
This next section will be marked by liberty
I’ll be free to pursue the queen that my heart desires
She’ll be free to embrace our chemistry
Won’t need a power of attorney
I can handle my affairs myself
I can eat life giving foods
That actually replenish my health
No more limitations
Everything is possible
With discipline, persistence, patience
I overcome all obstacles

Feel My Pain

By DP

Too young to communicate what’s going through my brain
My lips move, but words, they never seem to escape
Am I f****d up?
Or am I just too young to communicate my pain?
My pops isn’t the blame!

As a child, I was just too ashamed to share my pain
I’m all grown up
Yet I still find it hard to communicate what’s on my brain
My anger is my outlet
But I am confused with not being able to show love

Surrounded by men from different parts of the world
They don’t know me
So why should I show love that can be misconceived as weakness
Trapped inside of me
Is still this little boy who is scared to communicate his pain

Ma, you are the reason I try
The reason I look myself in the mirror just to see what’s in my eyes
I’m not afraid anymore
That’s why I am sharing with the world
The reason this little boy cries

For too long now I’ve been blaming others
When I should’ve been blaming myself
Yeah I know
It’s a harsh reality
But the truth always hurts

Words communicated with truth
Has the power to heal
But words are only a form of expression
To communicate my pain
From this little boy who holds anger and pain

I must first forgive those in order to let this anger and pain die
Don’t ask me why
But this little boy trapped inside of me is now ready
Ready to communicate his pain and tell the world why
The love for my family will never die

I was too young to communicate my pain
But as a grown man
Now I am ready to communicate
What’s on my brain.

Feel my pain!!!