My Story

By TD

Just two months ago my mom passed away
My girl moved on, now I’m feeling like Tom Hanks in Cast Away
Knives was just at my throat and I didn’t fight them
Dudes just robbed me because my shirt not tucked in my boxers and I don’t say, “Slim,” like them
My daughter only 11, sending me pictures with her hand on her hip
My son just turned 13, thinking about a hand on a clip
But don’t get me wrong, my baby mama a great mother
Besides these last 10 years, her and my best friend been sleeping with each other
I just called home from the (shu), my brother denied 8 calls
But when I was home selling drugs, he never denied 8 balls
Dudes been talking about me because of my situations
And even though I was in pain, I never once asked the nurse for medication
And when everybody was complaining, I still didn’t complain
Some went crazy and I still maintained
And when everybody was crying, I cried inside
Now I understand when Jadakiss said, “Why?”
I picked up a Qur’an, now I see what I didn’t use to see
And as I sit back and listen to a lot of these dudes, they remind me of who I used to be
But you know what hurts the most is when you gotta tell a story
About the people you love doing you wrong
The same family, friends, girls, so-called loyal ones
Posting on Facebook and Instagram, “Free me to come home”
(Damn)

P.S. God created men weak and it’s the trials and tribulations we go through that make us strong. We have to have responsibilities, and if you don’t have that, you’re not a man yet. See I thought I was a man also when I was buying cars, jewelry, blowing money, and having any woman I wanted. See I was a boy not understanding life because none of that stuff made me strong. None. If most of us died today, we won’t even have insurance on ourselves. See we desire the wrong things in life. Please, please change. A wise man always told me, “If you can’t change the people around you, then change the people around you.”

Mastering the Pain

By JG

Feeling everything so deeply
Can be a gift and a curse
My happiness is true bliss
Everything just works
Suddenly, joy is replaced with pain
Clear skies fill up with rain
I try to hold on
But can’t seem to maintain
My skies darken
Turmoil sets in
Damn
Never knew the mind could be like a wilderness one could be lost in
Lost many battles
Acting on impulse
Reacting with uncontrolled emotion
Never pausing to consider a reasonable course
I’ve felt the fire countless times
Intensified by a prison cell
12 by 9
A victim stance was my position
Playing the blame game
Meanwhile, in reality
My condition remained the same
Most my lessons come the hard way
But were received nonetheless
My understanding is that much greater
I feel truly blessed
Being a thought of Allah made manifest
I consciously create
Striving every day to be the captain of this ship
The true master of my fate
The war is far from won
But my book is far from done
I have nothing to lose
But everything to gain
These first few chapters have been spent
Mastering the pain
Learning how to love
Breaking my mental chains
Rising above
This next section will be marked by liberty
I’ll be free to pursue the queen that my heart desires
She’ll be free to embrace our chemistry
Won’t need a power of attorney
I can handle my affairs myself
I can eat life giving foods
That actually replenish my health
No more limitations
Everything is possible
With discipline, persistence, patience
I overcome all obstacles

Feel My Pain

By DP

Too young to communicate what’s going through my brain
My lips move, but words, they never seem to escape
Am I f****d up?
Or am I just too young to communicate my pain?
My pops isn’t the blame!

As a child, I was just too ashamed to share my pain
I’m all grown up
Yet I still find it hard to communicate what’s on my brain
My anger is my outlet
But I am confused with not being able to show love

Surrounded by men from different parts of the world
They don’t know me
So why should I show love that can be misconceived as weakness
Trapped inside of me
Is still this little boy who is scared to communicate his pain

Ma, you are the reason I try
The reason I look myself in the mirror just to see what’s in my eyes
I’m not afraid anymore
That’s why I am sharing with the world
The reason this little boy cries

For too long now I’ve been blaming others
When I should’ve been blaming myself
Yeah I know
It’s a harsh reality
But the truth always hurts

Words communicated with truth
Has the power to heal
But words are only a form of expression
To communicate my pain
From this little boy who holds anger and pain

I must first forgive those in order to let this anger and pain die
Don’t ask me why
But this little boy trapped inside of me is now ready
Ready to communicate his pain and tell the world why
The love for my family will never die

I was too young to communicate my pain
But as a grown man
Now I am ready to communicate
What’s on my brain.

Feel my pain!!!

 

Penitentiary’s Soul

By AG

Penitentiary’s therapy
Thriller of the cage;
Or is it rage?
An emaciated man
covered in a crimson crown,
head unbowed.
Stall-fed verifier
Subsisting on other’s tears
Or is it fear?
Herculean beastly forearm.
Crisscrossed with scars;
Each slice a clash
With weakness.
IN the center of your pain.
IN the center of your fear.
Penance or punishment,
Heaven or hell
Monastery or grace?

You, alone decide.

Why Do I Hate Love?

By TS

Why do I hate Love?
Cause Love don’t have no heart.
Love don’t care about nobody,
and loves to rip you apart.
Love causes pain
Love causes stress
Love is just misery, confusion, and evil
at its best.
Why do I hate Love?
maybe cause Love hates me.
Love been treating me wrong and unkind
Since I was lil babe.
I was born in the 90s
To a mother who always say she Loves me
but her Love was neva true.
To a father I’ve neva seen before
not even once in a blue.
Why do I hate Love?
Cause Love made me look like a fool.
Use and abuse me like some worthless tool.
Love is cruel
and you’ll be the fool if you think it’s nice.
Every time I showed Love
I paid a tremendous price.
Love ain’t s***.
I’m my own witness.
Love did me wrong too many times
and will neva get my forgiveness.
Why do I hate Love?
‘Cause everybody I thought love me
turnt they back on me
especially when they put them
handcuffs and shackles on me.
Nobody will neva love me for me
they will just love me for what I got
and when all that’s gone
then they’ll just love me not.
Why do I hate Love?
Cause Love brought me to tears.
Love makes me show weak emotions
Like desperation and fear.
Love made me feel ways I’ve neva felt.
So I made a promise I’ll neva Love s***
not even myself.
If you choose to Love Love, search for Love, Chase Love
I promise I will neva judge.
But, when Love does you wrong
and it will!!!!
You can always read Why I Hate Love.
But before I go
Let me tell you why I hate Love the most
Cause it turnt me into something I wish I wasn’t
and that’s a young black man with no hope…..