The Tears I Cry

By DWS

Look in my eyes
& you’ll see the tears I cry

As I lie back on my bed
The vivid memories of my family
& I flow through my head, I’ll be a liar
If I say, I didn’t see this coming

Growing up in the city of D.C
Wasn’t always peaches & cream for me
I was always told by many I’m worthless
& would never amount to anything

Many nights I’ve set in the dark
Wondering if there was someone
There who could heal my broken heart.

My father was never there
So my mother had to do it alone
Struggling just to make ends meet
Raising 6 kids in a 3 bedroom home
To see my mother do this taught me that
Women are very strong, & I praise her
Every day for not leaving me alone

That’s why it hurt me
Because I never got the chance to truly thank her
& say goodbye because I was sitting in an 8.10 cell
When she died, just the thought of it
Brings tears to my eyes

Now look at me & tell me
Can you see the tears I cry

The people I thought loved me
1 by 1 all started to dissipate
& I realize they were never there for love
It was just the material things & again I find myself
Feeling alone like I once did before

& I yearn for my heart to be healed once more
But the biggest pain of all makes
Me feel ashamed & weak so much so
That I catch myself crying in my sleep
& that’s knowing I’ve abandoned
My children as my father did &
Becoming him was something I never
Thought I’ll be. Wondering will they
Hate me like I hated him makes
Me shiver in fear from limb to limb

The black white walls of my cell
Turns into a movie screen
& the memories of my past become
My mental pain

I start to feel my eyes water
& then the tears flow
& I think to myself
When will my pain go
Inshallah it’s soon
But, I have to remain patient
Until I come to know

Although people see me smile
& laugh a lot
I often wonder if they can also
Look at me & see

The Tears I Cry

My Life Line

By VL
Dedicated to my beautiful niece Ana

It’s an honor to be your uncle
And a blessing to receive your love through your drawings,
Whenever I need some joy in my life
It’s you that I always think of.

Spiritually, you’re always in my prayers
Emotionally, you’re the blood that pumps my heart,
Mentally, you’re constantly in my thoughts
And physically, is the only way we’re apart.

Since the day my sister Nina had you
I’ve loved you like no other,
Well, one other person loves you as I do
And that would be your mother.

It’s always delightful to receive a picture, or drawing
From you and I think I know it will be astonishing when I
See your pretty face close up, I love when your mom
Sends me pictures of you, and from the look of things
In your pictures, you’re growing up quick ☺

You’re the most precious person in my life and I’m
Proud of all that you do,
You bring infinite joy to my days and nights in
Prison, especially when you say to me “I love you.”

The Start of a New End

By TC

Age one, living life as a toddler lucky enough to have a father and mother
Age two, growing up getting everything I want
Age three, feels like I’m getting taller by the month
Age four, traveling with my family having fun
Age five, I hopped off the porch, started going outside
Age six, it became a habit, hangin’ around older guys
Age seven, God took my grandfather up to heaven
Age nine, got exposed into the street life kinda
Age ten, started observing everything happening on the block
Age eleven, I was eager to get out of school, watching the clock
Age twelve, I watched Apple take his last breath
Why he gone?
Age thirteen, got locked up and I caught my first charge…

Something You Should Know

By LB

You should know that I was an orphan
Who never knew my biological parents
You should know I was left on the seat of a diner
In a town I never heard of
Bounced from different children’s shelters
Until the age of 7
You should know the only mother I ever known or will ever need
Took me into her home and raised me as her own
She always kept food in my belly
And clothes on my back
I miss her dearly
I pray to God that she bring her back

My Story

By TD

Just two months ago my mom passed away
My girl moved on, now I’m feeling like Tom Hanks in Cast Away
Knives was just at my throat and I didn’t fight them
Dudes just robbed me because my shirt not tucked in my boxers and I don’t say, “Slim,” like them
My daughter only 11, sending me pictures with her hand on her hip
My son just turned 13, thinking about a hand on a clip
But don’t get me wrong, my baby mama a great mother
Besides these last 10 years, her and my best friend been sleeping with each other
I just called home from the (shu), my brother denied 8 calls
But when I was home selling drugs, he never denied 8 balls
Dudes been talking about me because of my situations
And even though I was in pain, I never once asked the nurse for medication
And when everybody was complaining, I still didn’t complain
Some went crazy and I still maintained
And when everybody was crying, I cried inside
Now I understand when Jadakiss said, “Why?”
I picked up a Qur’an, now I see what I didn’t use to see
And as I sit back and listen to a lot of these dudes, they remind me of who I used to be
But you know what hurts the most is when you gotta tell a story
About the people you love doing you wrong
The same family, friends, girls, so-called loyal ones
Posting on Facebook and Instagram, “Free me to come home”
(Damn)

P.S. God created men weak and it’s the trials and tribulations we go through that make us strong. We have to have responsibilities, and if you don’t have that, you’re not a man yet. See I thought I was a man also when I was buying cars, jewelry, blowing money, and having any woman I wanted. See I was a boy not understanding life because none of that stuff made me strong. None. If most of us died today, we won’t even have insurance on ourselves. See we desire the wrong things in life. Please, please change. A wise man always told me, “If you can’t change the people around you, then change the people around you.”