Untitled

By ZT

She reminded me of honey in the sunlight
Light brown eyes
Cascades of curly “Q” hair
She definitely had me mesmerized and fascinated
Questioning if I should just leave it at this?
The turn on
Just flash a smile and a slight head nod?
Or, say something?
Get caught up in lies of an introduction?
Maybe I’d be surprised
Safer to just enjoy the moment in admiration and let it pass
But… hmmm…
She smiled back…

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28 Comments

  1. Dhara on October 17, 2021 at 2:30 PM

    Hi ZT,
    I can really use my imagination from the descriptive language you used. Great job! I also like how you added questions as you are writing the poem like a conversation.

  2. emilylam99 on October 17, 2021 at 4:43 PM

    wow, I love this poem. I like how the author accentuates the questions in the poem. It gives off a mystical and mysterious feel about it.

  3. emilylam99 on October 17, 2021 at 4:45 PM

    Wow, I love this poem. I love how the author accentuates the questions in the poem. It gives off a mystical and mysterious vibe!

  4. ahvuhnee on October 17, 2021 at 6:37 PM

    This is a very lighthearted and playful poem highlighting the excitement of crushing on someone. Haha great job!

  5. Vern Blanco on October 17, 2021 at 7:18 PM

    This poem is short and sweet, but very moving! Definitely brings back good memories from childhood.

  6. Chynel on November 2, 2021 at 1:00 PM

    I love your poem! The opening line is beautiful and it just gets better from there. The last 2 lines made me smile and chuckle to myself because it’s so relatable! Keep up the good work!

  7. ken on November 5, 2021 at 5:24 PM

    This poem was joyful, exciting, and suspenseful. You played with the emotions and allowed the readers to see what you were feeling in this moment. You then left the readers in suspense, which made the poem just as good. Keep up the amazing writing!!

  8. Andrew Lieberson on November 10, 2021 at 6:33 PM

    I really enjoyed this poem! I also found it relatable! Not just the part of overthinking when you’re talking to someone you like. It brings me back to high school, when I had a similar experience. I saw the face of someone across the classroom. I could instantly tell she was someone full of fun, which was something I lacked in my life back then. When I first saw her, it was like I got whammed by a steam engine, if the steam engine also had a wall of bricks in front of it. She eagerly invited me to play a board game with her, and that’s how I ended up meeting one of the most important people in my life. Thank you for bringing me back to that time.

  9. Lindsey on November 11, 2021 at 1:11 AM

    This made me smile. I like to think of the little things in life and the small interactions I have with strangers passing me by. Sometimes I feel as if we get caught up in waiting for the bug moments in life, but really the small things add up. The small things are what we should hold onto and cherish. This reminded me to soak up the small moments and really feel them. Keep up the great work, and thank you for the reminder. (:

  10. Meg McTaggart on November 17, 2021 at 1:21 PM

    This poem gave me chills; it perfectly captured the beautiful way the sun seems to shine differently on someone you find beautiful. I could just imagine this moment, the fantasy of it, and I like the generic “lies of introduction” how it doesn’t reveal exactly what is keeping you from approaching her. But there is something painful – I think you mean your status as someone incarcerated, but I love that this line could apply to any number of things. It makes the poem feel universal. Everyone loves, everyone has that moment of attraction and has that moment of deciding whether or not to risk putting your heart out there.

  11. Mary on November 17, 2021 at 1:28 PM

    This is such a simple but beautiful poem. I love the way you describe her and I think the line “Get caught up in lies of an introduction” is really meaningful and interesting.

  12. Jasmine Myles on November 18, 2021 at 6:27 PM

    I love your poem! I could feel how much you adore this person just by reading the poem. I love the way your describe her and the details that you included. I can relate to the line that says “Get caught up in the lies of an introduction.” I can tell that you really want to give this person a chance and how she captivates you. Love your poem!!

  13. Yoni Kurtz on November 19, 2021 at 11:47 AM

    Wow, this is so powerful and beautiful. I really liked your detailed description of her, and naming it “untitled” allows any reader to connect in their own way. Great job.

  14. BB on November 19, 2021 at 11:57 AM

    I think your poem is very relatable. Even with the wonderfully specific details and imagery – specifically the use of light – I think most people can relate to that feeling of being enamored with someone and not sure how to play it. Even if most people can’t put it to words, I think you do it for them. And the end captures that feeling of satisfaction from such a small moment, a small smile that can light up your whole day. It is a fulfilling resolution after the uncertainty and tension of the preceding back and forth.

  15. Aditi Furtado on November 27, 2021 at 3:43 PM

    Hi ZT! My name is Aditi Furtado, and I am a freshman at Wayne State University in Detroit. I came across the Free Minds Book Club Organization through a class that I am currently enrolled in. This class aims to bridge communities through engaging with organizations that allow us to experience from service learning.
    I absolutely loved your poem. I like to think that I’m drawn into mysterious and ambiguous poems that have a lot of heart. I understand that your poem was tagged with heart but from the first read, I interpreted the poem to be better linked with infatuation which could eventually grow bigger into feelings of love. The way you wrote out your poem was almost like a train of thought buzzing around, like you felt dizzy almost (assuming you wrote this poem from personal experience). It may have started out as infatuation but maybe I sense a little bit of regret during your last couple of lines where you stated “But… hmmm… She smiled back…” like you were hoping for a little bit more than a smile like an introduction.
    Your poem is one of the better, deeper ones I’ve read. I love how you’ve manipulated the emotions you’ve felt during those 2 seconds that you caught eye contact with this girl and wrote a detailed experience of how your mind played out the scenario.

  16. Julia on November 29, 2021 at 11:11 AM

    The imagery in this poem is amazing, I feel like I can fully visualize what this girl looks like. I think you were also able to show a ton of emotion in this poem even with it being a bit shorter. I like that there is a sense of conflict in this poem and that it ends in a happy ending. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem and I think it is always good to write about strong feelings like these.

  17. nim khan on November 29, 2021 at 1:36 PM

    ¨but she smiled back¨
    this is such a relatable poem
    Reading this made me smile so thank you for that
    But hey shoot your shot- lifes too short to not do so

  18. Flynn Lenahan on December 3, 2021 at 1:07 PM

    Great work of making a 2 second interaction feel like an eternity! Getting the reader caught up focusing on the details can do wonders for the advancements for the story, or for a cliff hanger to be even more suspenseful in this case. Nice vocab!

  19. Francisco Salinas on December 7, 2021 at 10:39 PM

    Hi Zt. I am a student from a community service class. I have read quite a few poems, but yours was the only one that covered love. It was unique. The way you compared the woman’s eyes to a pile of honey in the sunlight was very vivid. I could see the golden drops of honey in this fantasy woman’s eyes. I could feel the sweet, tender tease of love, where you see a girl you are interested in, and you fantasize living your life with her. I also enjoyed the part in the end where you feel the possible hint of commitment, before the poem ends. It honestly teases you, since there is not a resolution for whether you establish a relationship with the girl. I honestly think there is not a better way to end the poem off, as the end teases you to come back to the beginning of the poem to read it all again. Man… it is the constant questioning of what you should do in that blissful moment with a rush of adrenaline pressuring you to make a move. I believe you captured this feeling perfectly. I encourage you to write more because you are very talented!

  20. Carson Drake on December 9, 2021 at 4:50 PM

    This poem is really relatable, I think it perfectly captures the feeling of seeing an attractive women on the street. the questions you ask yourself, and the hesitations.

  21. Will on December 26, 2021 at 3:45 PM

    I really like this poem. I’ve never really though about what goes through our minds at those first interactions and attractions but this really sums up that moment of meeting or connecting with someone you like for the first time perfectly. Its definitely a scenario I’ve found myself in even if I didn’t ever think to voice it in such a way as you have here.

  22. Roxanne on January 8, 2022 at 11:24 PM

    Dear ZT, I love this poem! I can feel the warm fuzzies, the excitement, the uncertainty, the shyness, and the affection that you write about. Your poem is so cute and charming. You’re not writing a poem about love, you’re writing a poem about the fun of the uncertainty, the chase, the tease and it’s super fun to read. Your poem tastes like melting cotton candy or drinking orange juice by the pool- something sweet but with kick. I really think you’ve written a gem! Keep writing, please! Warmest wishes, Roxanne

  23. Maddie on January 10, 2022 at 10:42 PM

    This was cute! It was short and simple, which emphasizes the message of your poem. Nice work!

  24. JB on April 8, 2022 at 3:14 PM

    This poem is so sweet. I love how you see someone you admire and wonder what to do next–say something and maybe make an ordeal or just ponder upon what it could have been and her beauty. I think this is very relatable because it is something that most have experienced. We see someone who we think is pretty, then ask ourselves, what’s next…
    Thanks for sharing!

  25. Emily Barrera on April 21, 2022 at 1:48 AM

    So pretty!!! I absolutely love your unique yet so real imagery or curly Q hair. The way in which you structure and separate the thoughts of the poem is done very well. I would remove the world definitely in line 4, it seems unnecessary, maybe even the word she to just me
    had me mesmerized and fascinated.

  26. Ryanne Smith on April 24, 2022 at 12:02 PM

    This poem definitely allows the reader to depict the person you are describing. Though you may feel anxious about the situation, be yourself and express your feelings even if it is just “you are beautiful.” You will never get a chance if you do not swallow your pride and introduce yourself! Great writing!

  27. Nasim S. on April 25, 2022 at 12:41 AM

    I really really like this poem! It’s that moment right when you notice someone you think is beautiful or you are attracted to and you have this struggle where you don’t know if you should say something or let it be. I think your poem is simple but for anyone who understands what you mean, it brings up all of those memories.

  28. PA on May 13, 2022 at 6:59 PM

    I really liked how easily your words placed me in this moment. I could see this person. I could feel myself there in the moment, hesitating whether to make a move or not. Well done.

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