Untitled
By ZT
She reminded me of honey in the sunlight
Light brown eyes
Cascades of curly “Q” hair
She definitely had me mesmerized and fascinated
Questioning if I should just leave it at this?
The turn on
Just flash a smile and a slight head nod?
Or, say something?
Get caught up in lies of an introduction?
Maybe I’d be surprised
Safer to just enjoy the moment in admiration and let it pass
But… hmmm…
She smiled back…
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The poets featured here are currently incarcerated, and many of them are in federal prisons far from home. Your feedback is a valuable source of motivation and connection to the outside community. Post your comments, feedback, and encouragement in the space below the poem. Messages will be passed on directly to the author. Comments may not appear immediately on the site, as our team processes them to mail to the poets.
Hi ZT,
I can really use my imagination from the descriptive language you used. Great job! I also like how you added questions as you are writing the poem like a conversation.
wow, I love this poem. I like how the author accentuates the questions in the poem. It gives off a mystical and mysterious feel about it.
Wow, I love this poem. I love how the author accentuates the questions in the poem. It gives off a mystical and mysterious vibe!
This is a very lighthearted and playful poem highlighting the excitement of crushing on someone. Haha great job!
This poem is short and sweet, but very moving! Definitely brings back good memories from childhood.
I love your poem! The opening line is beautiful and it just gets better from there. The last 2 lines made me smile and chuckle to myself because it’s so relatable! Keep up the good work!
This poem was joyful, exciting, and suspenseful. You played with the emotions and allowed the readers to see what you were feeling in this moment. You then left the readers in suspense, which made the poem just as good. Keep up the amazing writing!!
I really enjoyed this poem! I also found it relatable! Not just the part of overthinking when you’re talking to someone you like. It brings me back to high school, when I had a similar experience. I saw the face of someone across the classroom. I could instantly tell she was someone full of fun, which was something I lacked in my life back then. When I first saw her, it was like I got whammed by a steam engine, if the steam engine also had a wall of bricks in front of it. She eagerly invited me to play a board game with her, and that’s how I ended up meeting one of the most important people in my life. Thank you for bringing me back to that time.
This made me smile. I like to think of the little things in life and the small interactions I have with strangers passing me by. Sometimes I feel as if we get caught up in waiting for the bug moments in life, but really the small things add up. The small things are what we should hold onto and cherish. This reminded me to soak up the small moments and really feel them. Keep up the great work, and thank you for the reminder. (:
This poem gave me chills; it perfectly captured the beautiful way the sun seems to shine differently on someone you find beautiful. I could just imagine this moment, the fantasy of it, and I like the generic “lies of introduction” how it doesn’t reveal exactly what is keeping you from approaching her. But there is something painful – I think you mean your status as someone incarcerated, but I love that this line could apply to any number of things. It makes the poem feel universal. Everyone loves, everyone has that moment of attraction and has that moment of deciding whether or not to risk putting your heart out there.
This is such a simple but beautiful poem. I love the way you describe her and I think the line “Get caught up in lies of an introduction” is really meaningful and interesting.
I love your poem! I could feel how much you adore this person just by reading the poem. I love the way your describe her and the details that you included. I can relate to the line that says “Get caught up in the lies of an introduction.” I can tell that you really want to give this person a chance and how she captivates you. Love your poem!!
Wow, this is so powerful and beautiful. I really liked your detailed description of her, and naming it “untitled” allows any reader to connect in their own way. Great job.
I think your poem is very relatable. Even with the wonderfully specific details and imagery – specifically the use of light – I think most people can relate to that feeling of being enamored with someone and not sure how to play it. Even if most people can’t put it to words, I think you do it for them. And the end captures that feeling of satisfaction from such a small moment, a small smile that can light up your whole day. It is a fulfilling resolution after the uncertainty and tension of the preceding back and forth.
Hi ZT! My name is Aditi Furtado, and I am a freshman at Wayne State University in Detroit. I came across the Free Minds Book Club Organization through a class that I am currently enrolled in. This class aims to bridge communities through engaging with organizations that allow us to experience from service learning.
I absolutely loved your poem. I like to think that I’m drawn into mysterious and ambiguous poems that have a lot of heart. I understand that your poem was tagged with heart but from the first read, I interpreted the poem to be better linked with infatuation which could eventually grow bigger into feelings of love. The way you wrote out your poem was almost like a train of thought buzzing around, like you felt dizzy almost (assuming you wrote this poem from personal experience). It may have started out as infatuation but maybe I sense a little bit of regret during your last couple of lines where you stated “But… hmmm… She smiled back…” like you were hoping for a little bit more than a smile like an introduction.
Your poem is one of the better, deeper ones I’ve read. I love how you’ve manipulated the emotions you’ve felt during those 2 seconds that you caught eye contact with this girl and wrote a detailed experience of how your mind played out the scenario.
The imagery in this poem is amazing, I feel like I can fully visualize what this girl looks like. I think you were also able to show a ton of emotion in this poem even with it being a bit shorter. I like that there is a sense of conflict in this poem and that it ends in a happy ending. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem and I think it is always good to write about strong feelings like these.
¨but she smiled back¨
this is such a relatable poem
Reading this made me smile so thank you for that
But hey shoot your shot- lifes too short to not do so
Great work of making a 2 second interaction feel like an eternity! Getting the reader caught up focusing on the details can do wonders for the advancements for the story, or for a cliff hanger to be even more suspenseful in this case. Nice vocab!
Hi Zt. I am a student from a community service class. I have read quite a few poems, but yours was the only one that covered love. It was unique. The way you compared the woman’s eyes to a pile of honey in the sunlight was very vivid. I could see the golden drops of honey in this fantasy woman’s eyes. I could feel the sweet, tender tease of love, where you see a girl you are interested in, and you fantasize living your life with her. I also enjoyed the part in the end where you feel the possible hint of commitment, before the poem ends. It honestly teases you, since there is not a resolution for whether you establish a relationship with the girl. I honestly think there is not a better way to end the poem off, as the end teases you to come back to the beginning of the poem to read it all again. Man… it is the constant questioning of what you should do in that blissful moment with a rush of adrenaline pressuring you to make a move. I believe you captured this feeling perfectly. I encourage you to write more because you are very talented!
This poem is really relatable, I think it perfectly captures the feeling of seeing an attractive women on the street. the questions you ask yourself, and the hesitations.
I really like this poem. I’ve never really though about what goes through our minds at those first interactions and attractions but this really sums up that moment of meeting or connecting with someone you like for the first time perfectly. Its definitely a scenario I’ve found myself in even if I didn’t ever think to voice it in such a way as you have here.
Dear ZT, I love this poem! I can feel the warm fuzzies, the excitement, the uncertainty, the shyness, and the affection that you write about. Your poem is so cute and charming. You’re not writing a poem about love, you’re writing a poem about the fun of the uncertainty, the chase, the tease and it’s super fun to read. Your poem tastes like melting cotton candy or drinking orange juice by the pool- something sweet but with kick. I really think you’ve written a gem! Keep writing, please! Warmest wishes, Roxanne
This was cute! It was short and simple, which emphasizes the message of your poem. Nice work!
This poem is so sweet. I love how you see someone you admire and wonder what to do next–say something and maybe make an ordeal or just ponder upon what it could have been and her beauty. I think this is very relatable because it is something that most have experienced. We see someone who we think is pretty, then ask ourselves, what’s next…
Thanks for sharing!
So pretty!!! I absolutely love your unique yet so real imagery or curly Q hair. The way in which you structure and separate the thoughts of the poem is done very well. I would remove the world definitely in line 4, it seems unnecessary, maybe even the word she to just me
had me mesmerized and fascinated.
This poem definitely allows the reader to depict the person you are describing. Though you may feel anxious about the situation, be yourself and express your feelings even if it is just “you are beautiful.” You will never get a chance if you do not swallow your pride and introduce yourself! Great writing!
I really really like this poem! It’s that moment right when you notice someone you think is beautiful or you are attracted to and you have this struggle where you don’t know if you should say something or let it be. I think your poem is simple but for anyone who understands what you mean, it brings up all of those memories.
I really liked how easily your words placed me in this moment. I could see this person. I could feel myself there in the moment, hesitating whether to make a move or not. Well done.
I like how it starts off with the perspective of being shy and a little timid and then it ends off with will they pursue her? Or just leave it at admiration and let it brew into obsession? Very mysterious and alluring piece.
I really like your usage of words and questions you have in this poem. It feels like I questioned on what were you gonna do next. I loved your poem, keeping writing and let us know what happens next!
The imagery you used in this poem is amazing! So descriptive I feel like I can visualize it. I like how the short statements symbolize the thoughts going through your head. It feels very realistic. Great work!
Hello ZT, this poem makes me think back to high school when I experienced love for the first time. In school I was seen more as a friend than I ever was anything else, so the fear of rejection always lingered in my head. But as you stated in your poem the temptation just gets more stronger, to where you really do debate on what to do. However, I learned if you’re going to go into something, go into it being your full authentic self, it makes you feel better in the long run if it does work out, and no matter what there’s a person for everyone in this world. This poem gives me humorous nostalgia thinking of the harmless flirting that happens when were young. Love is such a beautiful thing to experience. Thank you so much for sharing this piece of art.
I wish you the best! – Aaliyah
I love this poem, and I especially love all of the descriptions of this woman. The questions in this poem also give it a lot of suspense and it feels almost like a mini-story. something as little as a smile can go a long way, and it helped you to have this beautiful woman smile back at you. Keep up the good work!
Although this poem is short and pleasant but it clearly delivered the story. I really liked the way you described it since it was so similar to how I feel when I have a crush! I can envision many individuals reading this poem and picturing a situation that has happened in their own lives, not just myself. The last paragraph really conveys the idea that small moments may quickly grow into significant ones and that the simple things in life are what matter most.
UGH, I can’t wait! It sounds amazing to be mesmerized! I enjoy the writing about love, a more peaceful topic! I will agree that it’s hard to tell if they reciprocate feelings until they smile back and have you all curious…
Anyways, the poem was great to read, has me hopeful! I hope all is going well on your end and I hope you get the chance to get the girl! You never know…
~JP
ZT, I really enjoyed this poem! Your use of imagery really brought the story to life for me and made it to fun to read. This story is so relatable as well. I connect to it a lot because I know the anxiety you can get in times like these. Great job, thank you for sharing this!
Your depiction allows the read to visualize the person you are describing, enriching the poem. The reader can feel the warmth of emotion you feel for that person. The anxiety you felt viewing and interacting with them, is present in such a peaceful and powerful way.
This poem was very unique! I like the wording you used in this poem and how it creates a mysterious feel to it. Not saying who you are describing in the poem leaves it up to the reader to try and decipher or figure out who you are describing. Great poem!
Hi ZT,
This was a very sweet poem. I’ve found that a lot of poems on this site cover a lot of heavier topics, so finding a poem about the first few moments of a love journey was a nice light read. The small details about the girl that are noticed and the comparison to honey in the sunlight just gives the reader a warm and fuzzy feeling. The overthinking of whether to say something or not, to smile or not, was expressed well, and overall was just a short and sweet read that put a smile on my face. Thank you so much for sharing,
Ainsley
Hi ZT I absolutely loved your poem, it really drove me because it didn’t have a title but I think it worked much better not have a tittle. This felt so real and so caring for this person. It sounds like a love that you will always care for and never want to lose. I hope you keep writing poems.
This poem is a beautiful depiction of love at first sight and the emotions that come with it. Love is something that surrounds us all day every day, and it comes in a variety of forms. But attraction is incredibly strong and your words portray that wonderfully. This made me happy to think about the beauty of even the strangers around me. Thank you for sharing.
Hi ZT,
This is a really beautiful poem! I would first like to say I hope this is a real experience, because lucky you!! I’m in a relationship, and I remember the first time I saw him and talked to him, and these kinds of specific thoughts were going through my head. I later found out in pour relationship that he had the same thoughts. So, this poem and my boyfriend made me realize guys actually have these thoughts and not just women. This poem was sop descriptive and I really enjoyed reading it, Great job!
ZT, I enjoyed reading your poem, it represents the feeling of seeing a stranger in public and being drawn to them while having the urge to approach them. You state the thoughts you had in this scenario about whether you should approach her, with the fear it wouldn’t go well. In these moments our heads run wild with fear and anxiety, but how often do we have the urge to talk to somebody random? I think it is a sign we should when we do because we are drawn to specific people for reasons.
I love how descriptive this poem is, providing vivid imagery and highlighting how love is taking over this person.
Hi ZT,
This poem is a simple and beautiful take on anxious of seeing someone you really care about. I think everyone has dealt with this feeling. Seeing someone just perfect, someone you want to talk to and hang out with, but you have to actually talk to them in the first place, which is soooo scary. I felt the same way when I first saw my boyfriend. Goodluck with this person you feel this for!
Love is a funny thing. You’re always wondering what to do or to say. It’s hard to keep calm and act fine. It’s a feeling all its own. The poem was short but sweet.
The poem is short and sweet. It definitely brings back good memories from my childhood. Love is a wild thing isn’t it? You never know what to say when around someone you have feelings. I like the wording you used for this poem and how it creates a mysterious vibe to it. Really makes you want to keep reading. Amazing job.
Hi ZT, I really enjoyed reading your poem. There was a simplicity factor but was able to give the reader a vivid image of what was going on. The way you were able to describe love in such a unique way made this poem standout. You have a great talent and I hope to see more of your work. Great job!
So she reminds you of sweet honey in the sunlight and that’s good. Every color is so beautiful including light brown eyes. I get stall strucked by women too. It’s hard to define someone and that’s why it’s untitled. It’s important not to lie but be your true self. Finally, don’t overthink things.
I love how your poem told a story with so much imagery! This was great storytelling, while at the same time you were showing us the story rather than telling us! The descriptions were so vivd and allowed me to truly paint a picture in my mind! Thank you so much for sharing and writing this!
I love the playfulness of this poem. The suggestive tone is beautiful and intriguing. The mental debate as to whether to approach this mysterious girl is one that I experienced myself. I applaud your word choice and the clear imagery you use. Thank you for allowing me to experience your artistry, and I hope to read more from you in the future.