Self-Control
By JH
I’ve heard it said, don’t go to bed
While hanging on to sorrow
You may not have the chance to laugh with those you love tomorrow
You may not mean the words you speak when anger takes its toll
You may regret your actions once you’ve lost your self-control
When you’ve lost your temper
And said some hurtful things
Think about how the heart aches from hurtful things
Think about the heartache your actions sometimes bring
You will never get those moments back
Such precious time to waste
And all because of things you said in anger and in haste
So if you’re loving someone and your pride has settled in
You may not even have the chance to say to them again…
I love you and I miss you and although we don’t agree
I’ll try to see your point of view
Please do the same for me
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I personally find this poem really relatable, and it gives me an importantly fresh perspective. in my relationships, my pride gets in the way a LOT and I often find myself picking ridiculous fights. But I love my friends and family so much, and I never want to hurt them. I think you put that experience into words really really well, and it touched me a lot because i saw my own experiences reflected in your words. thank you for writing this and please keep writing!
I love the way you end this poem. The last two lines are so much shorter than the four before it. It really gives a punch and makes clear the culmination is what you think you should have/should in the future say. It’s simplicity really cuts through all the confusion you feel when you are in the middle of a fight with a loved one. Well done!
Dear JH,
Thank you for sharing this poem with me. I love how you started with these common sayings like, “Don’t go to bed / while hanging onto sorrow.” And I almost expected the rest of the poem to tell me why that isn’t true. Instead, you meditate on the truth of that saying, the sometimes what is ruptured may not be healed, or not for a good long time. I also really appreciate the care you take with beat and rhythm. While the poem carries hurt and pain, the rhythm carried me with you gently. I hope that many readers are able to see themselves in your heartfelt message.
Gratefully,
Heather
Not only is this poem absolutely beautiful in content, the rhythm is exceptionally well done, and the rhyme scheme adds an extra punch to the end of each line. I haven’t been this moved by a poem in a long time, you were able to perfectly describe the feeling of loss that comes with being separated from your friends and family, so much so that you inspired me to call my dad and tell him how much me means to me. Thank you. Please keep writing, your work is amazing.
I loved this! It really puts thing into perspective regarding what’s truly important in life. I have let my emotions get the best of me in the past and I lashed out on those who did not deserve it so this hits really close to home.
That was really nice! This poem is very relatable. The way you wrote about relationships is simple, yet beautiful. Thank you for writing this and reminding us that life is too short to be mad at the ones you love
It’s great advice, and hard to follow. I feel that your words show that so well, and challenge both of us — writer and reader — to do our best.
I liked how you were able to express your feelings into this one poem. I can see that anger can get the best of some people and writing this poem has clearly helped you. I agree with being able to see other peoples point of views before you act out upon someone else. I enjoyed reading this poem.
I love the rhyme here. It is so hard to rhyme without sounding cheesy, but you managed to convey a heavy message.
You did a great job of rhyming in a way that flows well. I also really like some of the descriptor words you chose, like “sorrow” and “heartache”. It really shows a depth of emotion.
“Such precious time to waste” was my favorite line. The ending was beautiful.
I can identify with this poem- i get angry too and say things I shouldn’t. Your words show the pain caused by anger and I think that’s important for people to understand so that they make better decisions on how to handle their anger. Thank you for sharing – I enjoyed reading.
Your voice feels wise and hurt and too familiar with regretting things said in heated moments. I only recently learned the importance and weight of knowing when not to give into anger and say something to hurt someone I loved. I shouldn’t have said what I did and it broke a relationship that could have gone on for the rest of my life. So though I’ve learned it once, thank you for telling me again to remember the love held for another while handling anger.
Hey JH, this is such a beautifully written poem, and I think it expresses the ideas of regret and love really well. I can feel the emotion behind it. Please don’t stop writing
JH,
As a kid, my mom lived by this rule. After an argument or a tough conversation, she’d always be sure to remind us that she loved us. Reading this poem transported me back to those times as a child. I was fighting back tears. Thank you for sharing this
I love the message of your poem-don’t take our loved ones for granted even if we disagree. It can be easy to let your pride/ego get the best of you even before the people that we love. This is something that I need to work on, because it could potentially be the last thing I say to this loved one. Thank you for this reminder. I hope to read more of your work.
Everyone has some kind of struggle or insecurity going on. Nobody is perfect no matter how they may look or present themselves. Everyone is fighting their own battle you don’t know about. So, next time you start to lose your temper just remember there may be a reason that person is acting that way. They may gotten bad news that morning causing them to be stressed out or upset. This is something I really struggle with, so it is something I have to work on daily. I feel as if I’m alone and nobody else is going through something as stressful as I am. I just have to really make myself remember everyone goes through struggles. There is always someone that is having the worst day of their life. Just remember to stay positive and that this moment will not last forever. Thank you for inspiring me to strengthen my relationships and work on staying positive for the people around me. Be the light that someone else needs that day!
Words are powerful, and acknowledgement of that is sometimes hard but also eye opening. Thank you for sharing these mindful words.
JH,
You perfectly capture the need to love others despite their flaws. At the end of the day, small disagreements are futile when compared to the gift of being in relationship with one another. Keep inspiring others with your words!
Dear JH,
Thank you for sharing your poem. I enjoyed reading it and learning from it. The words of your poem were so true to me. It is so hard to keep control of yourself when you are angry or sad, and as you said, a loss of control easily turns into regret. I like what you said about pride and think our pride tricks us a lot. Your poem is eye-opening and encourages me to think before I speak and act. It also encourages me to think of my loved ones and how I don’t want to leave them with hurtful words and heartaches. I hope that you continue writing because you have a gift of storytelling through poetry. Thank you again for sharing.
Wow, this poem is something that I needed to hear. This is such a good reminder of how our words have an impact on those we speak to. It is also a reminder to fix any bad blood before it is too late. We often do not think about the fact that we are not promised tomorrow with our loved ones, and that they can be gone in the blink of an eye. Rather than giving yourself the chance of living with regret, it is a much better idea to be quick to love and forgive, rather than holding on to hatred and discontent with someone. Great job!
I enjoyed the message of this poem. Your word choice and rhythm really made the poem flow. I think the first few lines are very clear, cut, and emotional. I just really love “I’ve heard it said, don’t go to bed, while hanging on to sorrow, you may not have the chance to laugh with those you love tomorrow.” The entire poem sheds light on the importance of communication and relationships with others. I like how you ended it with asking for the same graces that you should give others. Nice job!
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful message with your poem. It made me feel inspired and motivated to settle any differences that I have with the people that I love. The line, “such precious time to waste” is a reality check for me. Your poem makes me recognize the importance of not “hanging on to sorrow” and starting each day with a fresh slate.
I think this poem is very relevant in today’s society. I think that you laid out self-control very well through this poem. I know that everyone can get carried away with words when it comes to anger, but it is very important to sit back and breath before saying hurtful words that cannot be taken back. I relate very well to this poem. Great Job
JH, this is a great piece on how sometimes we let our emotions impact our relationships. Your first line really struck a chord with me. After growing up with parents who fought constantly, I was surprised the first time my partner said to me that we should never leave a disagreement unresolved and to never go to bed angry. It’s changed the way I view all of my relationships, especially the one i have with him. I really enjoy your work, continue writing!!
JH, I really enjoyed your poem because I can honestly relate to it. I grew up not having the best relationship with my mother. One night I came home and just wanted to go to sleep, and she came in my room offering me dinner. I told her no and she said “goodnight I love you” and I did not say anything. That is the last time I ever had the chance to talk to my mom, and that was 7 years ago this coming May. It has forever stayed with me in the sense that I refuse to go to bed angry when talking with my long-distance partner, a friend, or my dad. Because you never know when or if you will see them again. Next time I am in a situation where I’m mad or upset, I will definitely have your poem in the back of my mind telling me “I love you and I miss you and although we don’t agree, I’ll try to see from your point of view”. It truly is beautiful, thank you for sharing.
I love this poem. It really speaks to those moments when you feel that your emotions are so strong and overwhelming. It also speaks to the damage these emotions can cause when left unchecked and allowed to run wild. I especially love the stanza, “I love you and I miss you and although we don’t agree/I’ll try to see your point of view/Please do the same for me.” This is a very simple, humble, honest, and human request.
This is such a great thing to keep in mind going through life. It’s important for people to understand this, and I need a reminder like this now and then. Thank you for being that reminder and thank you for your poetry!
I’ve had the same thing happen to me. This feeling is just so discouraging you don’t know what to do anymore. We all need to live every moment of our life. Life is like a stream of water, filled with moments. But we never have the same moment again just like we can never touch the same water from the stream again. Self-control is all about us. What we choose to do with our actions, some actions have consequences. But we must keep going, we must keep taking actions regardless. Even if we feel like we have nothing left we must keep going.
This is beautiful. Time is precious and we never know when the last time we have with someone is. You never know what your last words will be to someone, so why not make it something positive. At least, that’s why I’m feeling after reading your poem. Don’t take anyone for granted. Don’t take your words for granted either. Love your poem, JH.
This poem is extremely truthful and the beginning is similar to how I view life. I always try to live each day like there is no tomorrow. Do the things that make you happy, be with people that make you happy, and never go to bed without solving any problems you feel need solved.
Sometimes you say things you shouldn’t have said and the other person may never be able to forgive the things you may have said or done. It is important to learn from your mistakes and to catch yourself if you feel like you are going to do something you may regret. You can’t undo the past you can only control the present and work towards a great future. Being able to see the other person point of view is a great way to understand how they feel and can help you to not make the same mistakes in the future.
This poem is very emotional and relatable. Having self-control is very important. It can be hard to hold back sometimes but it’s important to understand yourself. Having control over yourself and your actions is important because you should always do what’s best for you, not what others tell you to do. Peer pressure is something that could impact a person’s self-control. Always try and own up to your actions because the truth might not be what you want to say, but others around you will have more respect for you. You got this and remember the best is yet to come!
I loved your poem, it really touched my heart! It reminds me of my relationship with my mom and growing up I haven’t had the best relationship with her. It could change someone’s perspective on their relationships, and it best to improve or end contact with them on a good note, because we may never see them again.
Please never doubt how important your words truly are. We are strangers but your words just spoke to me like I’ve known you my whole life. I hope that you are able to meet yourself and those in your life with grace so that your love can be expressed in its fullest capacity. I can tell just from reading your work that your heart is quite big and although that welcomes much pain, the love that you carry is so important. Although it often seems the opposite, hating is actually far more difficult and taxing than sharing your love in the long run. I have difficulty getting past little bits of anger with people I love all the time and it is a genuine struggle to face; but it is important to recognize that we are fully capable of overcoming this. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful words.
I like the choice of rhyming words used.
Yes, it is good that we remember to have self-control. Many times we say things out of anger and don’t take the time to think before we respond and end up hurting each other and ourselves in the process. However, whenever this happens, we ought to not let the sun set before we try to resolve our conflicts with each other.
Hi JH,
I love the message that you conveyed in this poem. I have a big family with a lot of kids that fought a lot growing up, and my parents always told us not to go to bed mad at one another. The poem itself is beautifully well-written and flows very well. The first and second line were my favorite; a very heavy message written beautifully. The line about thinking about the heartache your actions can be stood out to me; if people thought like this before acting, I think a lot of things would be very different.
I think this poem points out a great point of almost not saying things when angry or upset. Sometimes I have found myself saying things I haven’t meant when I have been either of those feelings. Especially in relationships I feel like it’s important to wait until both of you have taken a minute to step back and think about what it being said before it is said. I also think your last two lines are the most important because it goes to show that you are taking initiative to be better with self- control and you hope people will do the same for you. Amazing poem!
I personally think this is one of the best poems that I have read on this website. The poem conveys such a strong topic of love very well. The imagery is really good and it makes me feel sad for the people who don’t get to see their loved ones anymore. Keep up the fantastic work!
This was a really well-written poem on acting out on emotion and anger, which I am sure a lot of people struggle with, including myself. Acting out causes strains in relationships, and can often jeopardize them, as we tend to say hurtful things to them. I am currently going through something similar, so I feel your words. This was a great poem with meaningful words. Great work, and thank you for this reminder.
I really enjoyed reading this poem! I think that the rhyme scheme on this poem was so well done and truly helped add to the poem’s fullness. The poem’s structure is also very good! I encourage you to continue writing, this was a pleasure to read!
Hi JH!
I LOVED reading this poem. This is because my grandma and mom have always said this to me. They pounded it in my head to “never go to bed angry” You never know what could happen while you are asleep. I used this quote with my family all the time, whenever we get into an argument, we figure it out before bed, so we don’t go to bed angry. Especially now that I am in a relationship, I understand how important it is. My biggest fear is going to bed upset and then not being able to fix it. So, with all of this said, I agree 100% with what you are saying and the way you are saying it. Great job JH!
JH, your poem should be read by many who struggle with emotional outbursts. Oftentimes people tend to say and do things they don’t mean when feeling intense emotions of anger and sadness. You are very understanding of this, while also being aware of the emotional effects it has on many victims of this and yourself. I am sorry the person you are referring to doesn’t quite understand how to cope with their emotions or fully understand the effects their actions have had on you. Reading this poem may really help them understand, it was worded very professionally, deeply, calmly, and honest.
This poem spoke a lot of volumes and hit home for me. I love how you speak about how you never know when you’ll see someone for the last time. A lot of times people say things in the moment, but then regret it immediately and that’s why you need self control. I think it takes a lot of work to get to a point of self control, because I know I’m working on it. My mom and I don’t always get along and when we argue we both can say extremely hurtful thing, and I mean screaming fights, but we always apologize afterwards because I think we both know in the back of our heads that we don’t know what could happen in life. I think everyone should have a goal of self control. Thank you for sharing!
Dear JH,
“Self Control” makes me feel the common regrets that many people feel in a relationship, especially in the heat of the moment. When you say “You may not mean the words you speak when anger takes its toll” is exactly how I feel after a heat of the moment fight. I might not mean everything I say and you encapsulate how anger can speak instead of me. The poem makes me feel and think about your actions and words in friendships and in relationships because how what I say and do can haunt me and my future with that person. You really try to get across that life is too short to be mad at a loved one for too long and to be mindful of what you do to them. I also realized that you choose to not have a lot of punctuation, which makes the poem more of a song and more personal to have a good flow. You also did a good job rhyming and having a good rhythm on the line “I love you and I miss you and although we don’t agree I’ll try to see your point of view Please do the same for me” which makes the ending more impactful and sincere. Keep writing, it was super impactful for me and I’m sure others as well!
-JK Minnesota
For me, this poem hit close to home. Losing self-control is something a lot of people struggle with each day. The way the lines are set up makes the point more impactful. The rhyme scheme in this poem was done beautifully. The poem is raw and real for many and it’s beautifully written. The poem also does a way of telling us to never go to bed mad at anyone. Hateful words pull at the heart the longer they brew. Thank you for reminding me to never go to bed mad and to speak my mind when I’m hurt. Thank you for the beautiful words!
I really love your message that you present here, and find it extremely insightful. In life, we should cherish those around us and celebrate our time with them due to how short life is. I agree that we must let go of our anger and pride when talking with each other, and promote healthy and loving relationships. I hope I get to read more poems from you as I really enjoyed this one. Wishing you the best.
oof do I feel this. I feel this when I talk to my mom. Im sure anyone can relate but I don’t want to give up on her. I try to see it from her side. the rhyming in this poem made me reminisce about how repetitive each argument can get. This was a lovely way to represent the lIttle struggles that people face in relationships they do not want to lose.
This poem beautifully captures the importance of not letting anger and hurtful words take control of our relationships with loved ones. It emphasizes the value of cherishing the time we have with those we love and not wasting it on bitterness and arguments. The reminder to try to understand each other’s perspectives and to express love and appreciation is a powerful message that can help prevent regret and heartache in the future. Overall, this poem serves as a meaningful reminder to choose love and understanding over anger and pride.
Jh,
I love this poem. I am so glad you decided to incorporate rhyme scheme into this poem because I think that it helps the flow of it tremendously. I also love the topic you have chosen to write on. I have a hard time with getting frustrated and my family and saying things I really don’t mean. You never know when the last time you may be able to speak to your loved ones is so we really do need to cherish every moment. Thank you for this poem, I thought it was great and you did an amazing job!
JH, I really enjoyed reading this poem. It gave me a lot of perspective on pride, self-control, and relationships. You have a gift, and I hope to be fortunate to read more of your work in the future. I wish you the absolute best.