My Story

By TD

Just two months ago my mom passed away
My girl moved on, now I’m feeling like Tom Hanks in Cast Away
Knives was just at my throat and I didn’t fight them
Dudes just robbed me because my shirt not tucked in my boxers and I don’t say, “Slim,” like them
My daughter only 11, sending me pictures with her hand on her hip
My son just turned 13, thinking about a hand on a clip
But don’t get me wrong, my baby mama a great mother
Besides these last 10 years, her and my best friend been sleeping with each other
I just called home from the (shu), my brother denied 8 calls
But when I was home selling drugs, he never denied 8 balls
Dudes been talking about me because of my situations
And even though I was in pain, I never once asked the nurse for medication
And when everybody was complaining, I still didn’t complain
Some went crazy and I still maintained
And when everybody was crying, I cried inside
Now I understand when Jadakiss said, “Why?”
I picked up a Qur’an, now I see what I didn’t use to see
And as I sit back and listen to a lot of these dudes, they remind me of who I used to be
But you know what hurts the most is when you gotta tell a story
About the people you love doing you wrong
The same family, friends, girls, so-called loyal ones
Posting on Facebook and Instagram, “Free me to come home”
(Damn)

P.S. God created men weak and it’s the trials and tribulations we go through that make us strong. We have to have responsibilities, and if you don’t have that, you’re not a man yet. See I thought I was a man also when I was buying cars, jewelry, blowing money, and having any woman I wanted. See I was a boy not understanding life because none of that stuff made me strong. None. If most of us died today, we won’t even have insurance on ourselves. See we desire the wrong things in life. Please, please change. A wise man always told me, “If you can’t change the people around you, then change the people around you.”

20 Comments

  1. Melissa Forbes on February 15, 2020 at 4:44 PM

    Thank you for sharing something so personal. It’s difficult to be vulnerable, and it takes a strong person to do so. Your work is very emotionally driven, and your feelings of betrayal and loneliness are vividly clear. I thoroughly enjoyed your post script at the end and I hope that you can find peace in your struggles and find others who will truly be supportive and on your side. You are worth it.

    PS: I hadn’t heard anyone reference Jadakiss in a LONG time, and it totally brought me back and made me smile.

  2. Patrick on February 19, 2020 at 5:51 PM

    TD,

    Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. It tell such a sad story, but it is aslo so powerful. Your writing skills are amazing and I love the rhythm of the piece. Also, thank you for giving such an important life lesson in your post script. Keep up the fantastic writing. -Patrick

  3. Homa on February 23, 2020 at 6:38 PM

    TD,

    Your poem is great and the message that you wish to share with others is truly awesome. I love your poem and I think everyone has their own story that makes them who they are. All the difficulties we go through change us and allows us to learn about ourselves and the world around us. Keep on expressing yourself through poems and write what you wish to share and educate others about. Thank you.

  4. Jen Des on March 25, 2020 at 1:14 PM

    Thank you for an enlightening poem. I felt your sincerity and it truly moved me. I appreciate how hard it must be to adjust and accept a story behind that poem. Your writing ability is a force. Don’t stop.

  5. Megan on March 26, 2020 at 11:45 AM

    TD,

    Your writing is powerful, and I hope that you can continue to find expression through writing your words. I can also imagine your poetry in a song, and I wonder if you have ever put your words to music.

  6. Sarah on April 1, 2020 at 1:38 AM

    TD,

    Your poem drew me in initially from that first line. My mom also passed recently, back in October. I haven’t been able to write about it much like you have here. I really admire the strength and vulnerably it took to bring these experiences of yours to paper. Thank you for sharing this. I also enjoyed the inclusion of the footnote, it brought the lesson of this piece home.

    Much love.

  7. Ian on April 8, 2020 at 12:50 PM

    TD,
    Thank you for sharing such an personal and powerful poem. What really brings life to this work is how you connect your feelings to works of music or film. But what especially brings power to your poem is that you do not wallow in sadness, bu rather you recognize the power and responsibility you have in these situations. I encourage you to keep writing and exploring these feelings, I really look forward to reading more of your poems.

  8. Kayelynn on April 13, 2020 at 1:48 PM

    Dear TD,

    This is an amazing poem and I can see how much you’ve grown as an individual. I feel that you sharing your experiences and the lessons you’ve learned in this poem would really benefit other people in a similar situation. Your writing is very honest and vulnerable, and I can’t wait to see what you come out with in the future!

  9. heysyd123 on April 15, 2020 at 1:35 PM

    Hey TD,

    This poem really was powerful and I can’t think of any other word: but cool. It was cool to read the rhymes that I wouldn’t have thought of, and to see a linear story flow so smoothly in such a short medium. I really felt like I got to know the past you and the present you (or the one that wrote this poem) and that is something that is hard to achieve in a poem but you did it. This was really great and I hope you keep writing.

  10. Logan Lehman on April 16, 2020 at 5:07 PM

    TD,

    This is really incredible. Each line truly touched me emotionally. The poem and the postscript show the growth you’ve gone through despite these difficulties. Thank you for sharing this.

  11. Alejandra Martinez on April 17, 2020 at 2:04 PM

    TD.
    Wow, thank you for allowing me to read this powerful poem. I am truly sorry for all the pain and disappointment you have had to deal with. Unfortunately your close ones and family will hurt you the most and true colors will show. I feel like you’ve learned to better yourself and learn from those who do you wrong. Keep up the good poetry and stay strong.

  12. Molly Reed on April 18, 2020 at 6:41 PM

    TD
    Thank you for sharing. It is hard to share something so personal and I applaud you for that. You’re right, it is not the experiences that shape us, it is how we handle them. I hope to write more of your poetry soon and wish you all the best.
    Molly

  13. renatastankowska on April 21, 2020 at 1:22 PM

    Your last line hit me. It took me a couple times of reading it over to understand it… but those are definitely some wise words that I needed to hear. Thank you for sharing your story… it was powerful watching you recognize your own transformation and I hope it continues and I hope that the man that you are and the boy that you reflect on console each other and you continue to move forward. Thank you for sharing your strength and power.

  14. Tiona Lancaster on April 22, 2020 at 2:31 AM

    It is clear that you do not possess a picture perfect story or background, but I respect and appreciate you for having the courage to tell your story anyway. I also appreciate the fact that you pleaded for those out here living life wrong to change their ways as well. It takes a lot of wisdom and maturity to acknowledge your faults and encourage others to not go down that same road. I wish you well mentally and spiritually, and ask that you continue sharing your story because there are many people in this world that need to hear it.

  15. Izzy on April 23, 2020 at 2:37 PM

    TD,

    This is such a powerful poem. You have so much potential in the way you express yourself. Your story is unique. All of the challenges and struggles you go through will give hope to others that you are able to come out on the other side. Your P.S. could change a persons life. Keep writing and giving hope to others as you have hope yourself

  16. Zak Davis on April 23, 2020 at 2:37 PM

    TD

    So much emotion and tremendous thought in this. I really enjoyed reading this piece. It has a great flow throughout, where you are able to have subtle rhymes that really make the piece connect, but most importantly you see the world through your eyes and you allow us to see that. By doing that you allow us to think about our own lives and our surroundings. It’s a piece that I really enjoyed reading.

    Thank you

  17. Emily on April 24, 2020 at 5:13 PM

    TD, your ability to incorporate your own life experience into your writing is amazing. Maintaining flow within free verse poetry isn’t easy but you do it with grace. I hope you continue to use poetry to express yourself.

  18. Emily on April 24, 2020 at 5:16 PM

    TD, your ability to incorporate your personality into your words is amazing. Your voice is so clear in what you’ve written and there is so much weight behind your words. Maintaining flow with freeform isn’t easy, but you do it with grace!

  19. Yesica Benitez on April 27, 2020 at 2:23 PM

    TD,

    I think it takes incredible strength to overcome difficulties and manage to come out stronger. I have overcome many difficulties in life and have managed to prioritize the right things in life instead of material things that come and go. I hope that you keep growing in strength. I loved this poem.

  20. Jocelyn Matos on April 28, 2020 at 6:15 PM

    May your mom rest in heavenly peace! Sorry to hear that. We are here, and we are listening. Keep doing the right thing! Stay up.

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