Broken Souls
By AE
They are cast aside, rejected,
Longing for that day, dejected,
Harboring torment, desperate,
Illusions of normality.
Twisted, sick, corrupt captors,
Like a black hole, it sucks you in;
The environment, the elements, rhetoric,
Nontransparent and hidden from society.
To our families, once begotten,
But now only forgotten,
They are broken around him,
Fallen, one by one, again and again.
The sickness is in the air…
But he fights it!
His gas mask, the only person who’s always cared,
Fighting to persevere, detractors become irrelevant,
His chin high, his chest out, he is benevolent.
He remains headstrong, steadfast, and whole,
And will never fall as a broken soul…
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The poets featured here are currently incarcerated, and many of them are in federal prisons far from home. Your feedback is a valuable source of motivation and connection to the outside community. Post your comments, feedback, and encouragement in the space below the poem. Messages will be passed on directly to the author. Comments may not appear immediately on the site, as our team processes them to mail to the poets.
What a powerful poem. I really like the image of “His gas mask, the only person who’s always cared.” You put your finger right on it: The people who care are what keep us able to breathe, keep us alive in all the toxicity. I will remember this image of the gas mask!
AE,
I truly was captured by your raw emotion and strong descriptions, I really had a visual of someone struggling hard in their darkest moments where all feels lost. Strength isn’t something physical always, but a feeling and emotion! You illuminated that message through the closing, “he fights it!” This line really struck out to me. Fighting and to keep going for your soul. Thanks for the amazing read.
Dear AE,
Thanks for sharing this poem. I really liked your use of rhyme throughout the poem, which really tied it together and made it almost musical. Your line about “illusions of normality” particularly resonated with me today, because so little is normal at this time and yet there are those who would want it to seem that way. I also enjoyed that this poem ended on such an uplifting note. It’s very hopeful and an image of courage. This poem made me hopeful that people can embody benevolence, steadfastness, strength, and wholeness even in an abnormal time! Thanks again for sharing.
Best,
JM
Hey AE, this is such a powerful piece! I love the transition from writing about someone who has been beaten, forgotten, and at times is completely blanked from reality; but in the end knows that they are not to give up, they will simply kill things with kindness because they won’t allow theirselves to break. My favorite lines: “Fighting to preserve, detractors become irrelevant, His chin high, his chest out, he is benevolent.”
The rhymes you have are extremely powerful, and the theme presented is also extremely impactful. Thank you for speaking on the traumatic feelings that you have experienced, and most importantly, keep pusing forward. Stay strong! I would love to hear more from you
I really enjoyed reading this poem and recognized the slow transition you tried to make. I liked how you described a broken soul as something/someone that takes awhile to happen. This struck me because of your point of view, watching it happen to others yet remaining motivated to not let it happen to you. That is honorable and extremely brave, considering how your surroundings seem to tell you otherwise. I also really liked how you described this darkness seems to suck you in, like a black hole. This is powerful because it reiterates your strength and resilience. Despite the surroundings, the poem was uplifting by showing you coming out triumphant with you chin held high.
AE,
You have such a beautiful way with words, you can see power and strength in what you have to say. The pain of feeling rejected from society can be felt in this work, my hope in this world is that one day we realize that no one deserves to be cast aside. That everyone one day, no matter if they are incarcerated, the color of their skin, who they love, will feel like they belong and are loved. No one deserves to feel like they are not a part of the world, you matter just as much as everyone else. The most beautiful thing about life is that even if you fall you can always build up again, like you said resilience will bring you forward. Continue to write, you can feel the emotions through your tone. You are a blessing to this world.
Best,
M
AE,
The rhyming and rhythm that you have been able to incorporate into this piece is truly incredible. The way you shift from depicting struggle to resilience is crafted so eloquently! Please keep writing!
This is such a powerful poem. You did just a good job illustrating emotions in this poem. Very good job! Do not stop writing.
this is very empowering and i love that there was a hopeful and encouraging tone in the end despite of the things that were said throughout the poem
AE,
I really enjoyed your poem. The true pain of rejection is shown in the first half. The second half shows that there is hope and someone that cares for you. Thank you for sharing this with us. Keep up the good work
AE,
Thank you for taking the time to share this poem! I love the imagery you create. Fighting for joy in a painful environment can feel like war. Keep fighting! and keep writing!
KC
AE,
This poem gives me both hope and courage. I love the imagery of “His gas mask, the only person who’s always cared,/ Fighting to persevere, detractors become irrelevant,/ His chin high, his chest out, he is benevolent.” Despite the pattern of the people around him being forgotten and rejected, we see this person still persevere through it all. He remains strong, which gives the reader the strength to get through their own sickness. Thank you for sharing this poem!
-Cameron
Hi AE! Very powerful and intriguing poem. Love the word choice and flow
Your poem was both complex and simple enough to understand the many layers of emotions that were built within it. I am not sure if this was a poem written during the COVID-19 pandemic, but if it was, I think that the poem did a magnificent job on stating the emotions felt while being in an isolated place. The line that hit me the most was “Fighting to persevere, detractors become irrelevant” because it truly encapsulates one has despite hard times. Great poem AE!
*the strength one has
I think the diction was really well done, very illusory imagery. You can feel the sentiments packed into it. It felt very redemptive and triumphant. I think if the sentiment behind the gas mask is related to the pain in breathing, it can be brought out more. I think the transformation in the poem is interesting.
I honestly cannot think of a more timely poem, thank you so much for sharing this. Too many times I have seen events play out exactly like this poem and it hurts, but I’m glad you had the courage to share
Very powerful piece of writing. The enjoyment I felt when reading your poem was immaculate.
AE,
This was a very powerful piece. I really liked how in the beginning you talked about how the man has been beaten down by society and left to suffer invisibly, but as the poem progresses it transitions into him overcomming the loss of hope and staying stong and true to himself.
Loved this poem! The only life that confused me was “His gas mask, the only person who’s always cared,” is that in reference to him loving himself or someone else? I like to believe it is the character loving himself and believing in himself despite the doubts of others – makes the poem more powerful.
AE, this poem is so powerful. I think you did an amazing job getting your message across to the reader, in order to truly make them feel something while they were reading.
Hey AE! I love the power and courage shown inside this poem. You have a beautiful way of showing words and rhyming patterns. The vulnerability and emotion of this poem is nice to see as the audience can dive into the story as the author. Keep on writing! 🙂
AE,
I really enjoyed your writing! The message is so strong and I was impressed by your rhyme scheme. I think it played well into what you were conveying and how you were doing it. I was also impressed with the overall writing and diction used. Great work!
AE,
I really enjoyed this poem! I was moved by your message and how strong your writing was. I was impressed by your rhyme scheme and how well it helped to convey your message. I was also impressed with your overall writing and diction. Great work!
Dear AE,
This is a really vivid and powerful poem. It captures a lot of emotion, and uses wonderful vocabulary and imagery. It is very inspiring — you show the journey of feeling like a rejected, broken soul, to feeling strength and perseverance. This is motivating and I love the message that though people go through tough times and can be treated badly by others, they are resilient. Amazing work!
Sincerely,
Joyce
Hi AE,
I just want you to know that I absolutely love your poem! The rich imagery and symbolism were beautiful. Even the title, ‘Broken Souls,’ caught my eye. The description of a soul being cast aside and facing loneliness was heartbreaking, but the symbolism of a gas mask as “the only person that cares” is beautiful! Thank you for sharing your work and I hope that you continue to write!
Best wishes,
Jordan
The power in this poem!! The stylistic decisions such as the rhyme scheme really helped me as the reader understand and analyze the distinct messages you were getting at. I really appreciated the honesty and vulnerability you maintain in the poem and it takes a lot of courage to do that.
AE,
I really loved how you incorporated the conflict, and included a fighting motif, to then resolve it with a person who gets back up and doesn’t give up! In the midst of so much turmoil in our world now, this is very encouraging! Life may look bleak, but if we get up, and persevere, we can get through anything. Thank you so much for sharing your work with us!
Hi AE,
I really loved this piece! Your use of symbolism and alliteration really help to convey the sense of strength in a world of hopelessness. I love the juxtaposition between the broken and the unbreakable and the motif of being lost to the world and trapped in pain. I also think the intertwining of a gas mask (a literal lifeline) with a loved person (a figurative lifeline) works really well. Overall, I think that this piece displays not only vital and moving subject matter but also a natural command of language and rhythm. Great work!
Hi AE,
I really like the structure of this poem with the rhyming and repetition. It flows very well and the many descriptive words paint a very strong mental image in my mind’s eye as I read it. Thank you so much for writing and sharing this amazing work. Keep on writing. Your talent is incredible!
Dear AE,
Thank you for sharing your poem with us. Your poem is beautifully written and expresses vulnerable thoughts and emotions. Loneliness is such a common feeling, yet it is hardly discussed. Through your poem, I have gained a better understanding towards those who are currently feeling lonely and isolated.
This was an encouraging poem to read! I really like the analogy of the gas mask and we keep pushing forward for those we care about, those are the ones who give us life in this messy and chaotic world.
This poem has a great theme of strength and perserverence. Through so much harm and hard times, he gets back up and keeps fighting, never giving up. I loved this poem and it is very empowering. I hope to read more of your work soon! Thank you for sharing.
AE –
my favorite word in this entire poem is “whole” – “He remains headstrong, steadfast, and whole.” Something about that not only is he strong and there’s a sickness – but to give in is to lose a part of yourself. And the only way to remain the entirety of who you truly are, you have to persevere and resist the urge to surrender.
Well done!
Thank you for sharing this powerful poem. I can see the pain and hurt that you have felt but it is ended with strength and hope. Thank you for being vulnerable as I know that is not always easy. We appreciate it though as it serves as passion throughout these stanzas. I hope to read more of your work.
This was such a powerful way to write about pain, suffering, yet strength and persistence! I really loved how you developed the poem from sad at the beginning to hopeful and strong at the end! This was really done well! Thank you so much for sharing your poem with us!