Mom I Wonder Why

By MC

When I had my appendicitis
And my first major surgery
You were right there
And I felt your compassion, concern, and care

When my feet would break out every summer
And I couldn’t walk without pain
You were right there
And I felt your compassion, concern, and care

When I had that heart attack
And had to be rushed to the hospital in an ambulance
You were right there
And I felt your compassion, concern, and care

When I had my tonsillectomy
And hemorrhaged all that blood
You were right there
And I felt your compassion, concern, and care

Yes, anytime in my life, I’ve suffered
An ailment that was clearly physical
You were right there
And I felt your compassion, concern, and care

But when I was distraught over our move
From the only home I’d ever known
Even though you were right there
I didn’t feel your compassion, concern, or care

And when I was homeless
And being abused by my brother-in-law
You were not there
And I didn’t feel you compassion, concern, or care

And when the depression and anxiety took over
And I turned to you for help
Though you were right there
I did not get your compassion, concern, or care

Now that I am locked away from everyone I love
And I feel more alone than ever before
Though when I call you, you are physically there
I no longer feel your compassion, concern, or care

Why anytime I’ve suffered ailments that aren’t physical
Though the pain is still very, very real
You are never there
With your compassion, concern, or care?

Love’s Reply

By MS aka NexXLife

Dear NexXLife,

I thought I gave you to someone who
would love you
I’m not all knowing
so I never knew
that your mother’s love
if that’s
what it was
would tarnish your innocence and corrupt you
reshape your world view
break your spirit and harden your heart
she battered your form and imprisoned your mind
that’s not what love is
not what love does
now because of this
all of those years of silent tears
huddled within yourself like a refugee
your fear was your impenetrable guard
so it was hard for anyone to get close to love you
protecting yourself you pushed people away
ashamed of your past
you were too scared to let someone love you
I hear you
I am never far from you
all you have to do is lower your guard
take a chance on me
light a beacon
and love (I) will surely find you

Yours truly,
Sincerely,
Love