While I Was Sleeping

By RL

seems like yesterday I dreamt
the cell door was not closing
on me for the first time…
I slept and while I did
my dreams of the future
vanished

I woke and tried to
remember freedom
remember love
remember touch
remember me?
grasping with
invisible hands
just like you would for
that wonderful scenario
of imagination only
closed eyes find
while dreaming
of falling forever
into my lover’s arms
out of that front gate
away from the past
towards the Sun
and Peace

some dreams are nightmares
like the news of my son
being buried at
the ripe old age
Of 28
or the cold sweat terror of
those USP days
with a dying man
praying for Jesus
as they are stabbed

those things come
and they go less
often now with
24 years alone in
this daylight prison
but still…
and like any soul
who Morpheus claims
I will find freedom tonight
with hope and a sweet
whisper of peace
in my mind’s eye
and dream of
going home

18 Comments

  1. Anne on August 27, 2024 at 11:48 AM

    The composition and imagery you give in this poem outline the significance of what you’ve been through, how dreams can also be nightmares, and these experiences shaped you today. While this writing makes me disappointed that you aren’t able to go home just yet, your writing truly gives me hope that something beautiful came out of this time and you should be proud of your growth when you’re able to see home again.

  2. Shivansh Mittal on September 13, 2024 at 12:55 PM

    This poem shows the power of freedom and dreaming. When someone dreams they hope for a possibility but when the poem mentions my dreams vanished, it goes to show the future vanished. A sense of hopelessness.

  3. Julia on September 13, 2024 at 9:59 PM

    RL, this poem was beyond powerful. I could feel your joy in remembering touch and love and moving away from the past. I could feel your hurt in hearing the news of your son and the feelings of being alone for so long. Keep writing as beautifully as this. Your words are powerful and moving. Beautiful job

  4. Stella on September 22, 2024 at 8:53 PM

    Hi RL, this is such an amazing and powerful poem. Your ability to convey emotion in such a vulnerable and poetic way is unique. I love the part: “I woke and tried to remember freedom remember love remember touch remember me?” The repetition of the word “remember” makes the reader feel as if they are remembering with you. I think the ending phrase “remember me” is so powerful as well.

  5. Sania on October 3, 2024 at 6:40 PM

    This poem powerfully conveys the struggle between the desire for freedom and the weight of past traumas. The juxtaposition of hopeful dreams and haunting memories creates a deep emotional impact, and the imagery of longing for peace and connection is both poignant and relatable.

  6. Allan on October 6, 2024 at 10:13 PM

    An uneasy but beautiful read that made me grateful for life!

  7. Lucas on October 8, 2024 at 7:53 PM

    This poem powerfully evokes the emotional complexity of imprisonment and the fragile line between dreams and reality. The imagery of the cell door closing, and the fleeting nature of dreams, symbolizes the speaker’s longing for freedom, love, and a sense of self that seems lost to time. The contrast between the hope found in dreams—of escaping into the arms of a lover and moving towards the Sun and Peace—and the harsh reality of life in prison, is stark and heart-wrenching. The speaker’s recounting of tragic, haunting experiences, such as the death of their son and the violence of prison life, deepens the sense of loss and despair. Yet, amidst these nightmares, the poem offers glimmers of hope: the idea of “finding freedom tonight” in sleep suggests that dreams, though fragile, are still a refuge from the harshness of reality. The closing lines leave a bittersweet taste, reflecting both the pain of the present and the persistent hope for a better future, even if only in the realm of dreams. It’s a poignant, raw, and deeply moving piece.

  8. Katherine on October 20, 2024 at 9:33 PM

    This is pretty good! I’m wondering if there’s a reason behind it starting in lowercase and majority of it being lowercase. If so please tell me more

  9. Yuna on October 21, 2024 at 12:40 PM

    This poem truly makes me emphasize for you, and your situation. I really connected to it because of the fact it is written so beautifully. It is an amazing perception of your story.

  10. Bea on October 28, 2024 at 5:33 PM

    Your words reach deep, filled with longing and the sharp edges of memory. This journey of dreams—the release they offer, the love, the light, and the heartbreak—paints an image of both struggle and resilience. That hope of finding freedom, even if only in sleep, is powerful. It’s a reminder of the strength it takes to keep holding onto the beauty in what was and the possibility of what could be. Your spirit shines through with a quiet courage, pressing on through the darkness, still reaching for the light. Thank you for sharing this profound piece of your heart.

  11. Emily on October 31, 2024 at 2:39 PM

    This is so impactful! Thank you for sharing!

  12. Alyssa Atwood on November 3, 2024 at 12:46 PM

    This poem shows how being incarcerated has affected you, how you can’t relate now to what freedom, love, and touch is; something many take for granted. Nightmares have become more constant especially the passing of your son at such a young age being a trigger for them. Through your poem you justify the feeling of desertion of feelings and senses you don’t have the opportunity to experience now. This is well written.

  13. Olivia H on November 3, 2024 at 3:32 PM

    Your poem poignantly captures the struggle between hope and despair. The imagery of dreaming of freedom and love, contrasted with the harsh reality of loss and confinement, is deeply moving. The way you describe the fleeting nature of dreams and the painful memories that linger is powerful. Even in the midst of such sorrow and isolation, the glimmer of hope and the desire for peace shine through. Your words convey a deep sense of resilience and the enduring human spirit. Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt and evocative piece.

  14. Lila on November 6, 2024 at 7:11 PM

    This is really beautiful, I’m glad I got to read it. The imagery is SO strong and evocative and you are genuinely a great writer. Please don’t stop writing. The bit about Morpheus and dreams is especially good. Amazing job!

  15. Amelia on November 13, 2024 at 11:53 PM

    Your poem captures the longing for freedom and the haunting memories of the past. The contrast between dreams of peace and the harsh reality is powerful. It’s a moving reflection on resilience, hope, and the search for peace in the midst of hardship. Really great job on this one!

  16. Alyssa on November 14, 2024 at 10:26 PM

    RL, this poem is extremely powerful and I am in awe of your vulnerability and your ability to open up about your journey. I have so much respect for you and everything you have gone through. The repetition of the word “remember” at the beginning of your poem gave me a different perspective on life and the reality of someone who is in prison. I would like to say, you are extremely strong. Please keep writing and chasing your dreams. Thank you.

  17. Choudhry Ahmed on November 17, 2024 at 3:45 PM

    This is deeply moving—raw, honest, and filled with a yearning that’s palpable. It beautifully captures the struggle between hope and pain, the weight of memory, and the fragile sanctuary dreams provide. Truly powerful and heart-wrenching.

  18. Logan on November 17, 2024 at 9:45 PM

    Your poem talks about how dreams offer both comfort and pain. You describe wanting freedom and peace, remembering the good things you’ve lost, like love and freedom. There’s also sadness in your dreams, like the loss of your son and scary memories from the past. But even in the darkest times, you find hope in dreaming of a better future and going home. It shows how, even though you’re stuck in a difficult situation, you hold onto hope for something better. i enjoyed reading! thanks for sharing!

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