Poem: “Weight”
Weight
Weight under my eyes
because I want to cry.
Weight on my hands
because I’m trying to push people to do good.
Weight on my head
because I’m learning so much.
It’s like I’m getting fed on Thanksgiving’s weight.
So much weight –
I don’t want to go back
I want to go straight.
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Simple yet powerful! I feel the weight of your struggle in your words. If you keep your emotions strong and your mind strong, you can lift the weight of anything!!
But I hope that, with the extra weight, you’re gaining new strength.
this poem has so much imagery, depth, and… weight. it is intense and honest. Thank you for sharing beautiful words
weight can be time it can be pressure it also can be pounds. Going straight is like going on a diet from bad behavior
weight when used correctly is a good thing ask and athleate that hits the weight room for strength, cardio and endurance. Peace
I like that you have chosen a tactile image — weight — as the subject of this poem. Using a concrete concept like weight makes it easier for the reader to enter the poem. Our brains respond to the information gathered by our senses. So, this is an effective way to engage your reader. Good work. I especially like the repetition of weight, because every time you repeat the word, the poem, in a sense, becomes heavier. Also, the different examples of weight are all good. What would make the poem even better than it is currently would be to make some of these examples even more specific. For example, the speaker states, “I’m learning so much.” You could write a few lines that illustrate what the speaker is learning. You could even connect these concepts back to the weight theme by using images that seem heavy. For instance, you could have the speaker talk about the weight of the text books. You are doing a really great job! This is a very good draft!
Thank you for taking the time to write this! Life can be so heavy sometimes, but you are right. The weight is what pushes us to go farther and push harder. You are strong and capable. I know you can carry this weight. Remember that when life gets too heavy you can share the weight with those you love. Keep writing!
KC
Hey! Love the imagery and emotion you put into this poem. You really showed a message that I feel a lot of people can resonate with and allowing yourself to be vulnerable will push others to know its okay to have “weight.” Good poem!!
Weight can be heavy, and you convey that so well! I can really sense the pain that the weight your carrying is bringing you! I hope you can find freedom from that weight, and that as you state, you don’t have to go back!
Best,
Samantha
Hey! Thank you for sharing. I really enjoyed your poem, because it talks about the weight that we all carry through the bad times. But, you end it on a positive note, saying that you want to keep going straight. This is motivational for the readers because it is a reminder to keep going. I hope to read more of your work.
Hi!
I loved the multiple meanings of weight in your poem. It seems so inspirational. Thank you for writing this.
-Liz
Dear author, I wanted to start off by saying your poem was so powerful, and amazing. Your work of art is so simple, and so vivid with language. The way you presented the word weight and interpreted into different meanings with situations you were experiencing was so creative, and unique. It really transitioned the word into something completely different. I do want to apologize though for the stress you are under right now. In your first lines you say, “weight under my eyes because I want to cry”. I hope things start to become a bit less overwhelming for you, and you can get the time and space you need to feel better. And although all the knowledge you’re obtaining also seems overwhelming I’m glad our learning new things! from the things you’ve said in your poem you sound like a very strong person has been through a lot. I know your headlining in the right direction! Thank you so much for sharing this poem.
I wish you the best!
This is a wonderful representation of psychological pressure and exhaustion and I appreciate it so deeply. I know what that kind of weight feels like, the kind of weight that weighs heavy on the soul. The kind that even in your sleep feels unshakable. This felt very real and relatable to me so thank you so much for sharing. I appreciate you and I appreciate your words.
This poem was really inspirational The pressure on yourself through weight is something that was depicted very well. It’s normal to take this weight and pressure but also make sure to take care of yourself! Great job!
Thank you for your beautiful poem! As a reader, I can definitely sense the metaphorical weight of this poem. I liked your incorporation of weight as a good thing and weight as a sadder point, or feeling of external pressure.