Poem: “My Son”

My Son

-Dedicated to my son who is 1-


Deshawn is like the sun in the sky

He brightens my day with a blink of his eye

Deshawn is like the brightest star

He shines a lot, you can see him from afar

I love Deshawn and he loves me too

When I go home he’ll make me new.


  1. Caroline on December 14, 2010 at 2:57 PM

    I’m praying for the day this happens for you. Thanks for the beautiful image and words.

  2. Krystal on December 15, 2010 at 10:37 PM

    Beautiful poem! He is your guiding star!

  3. Shannon Rampe on January 13, 2011 at 3:06 PM

    I think one of the goals of a poem should be to have the greatest impact with the fewest number of words. In a poem, each word should have mass. Each word must be carefully selected to greatest amount of meaning. This poem takes that philosophy to heart.

    The last line is the greatest strength of this brief poem: “When I go home he’ll make me new.” Simple, honest, powerful. The words carry weight, they allow for the author, and consequently the reader, to experience transformation.

    If the last line is the most powerful, then how could the rest of the poem be improved to carry this gravity? I would suggest eliminating the cliches – brightening my day like the sun in the sky – in favor of real, concrete details about Deshawn and the powerful feelings of the author. I personally am not a fan of an A, A, B, B rhyme scheme like this – it feels sing-song like to me – but that is often a matter of personal preference.

    I have to say when I read this poem, I was surprised. It seemed carefree and sing-song like to me at first, and then the last line hit me like a sledgehammer in the chest. Keep digging for and focusing on expressing the simple, powerful honesty that’s evident in the last line.

  4. Terrell on February 24, 2011 at 10:52 AM

    I respect the fact you used you son for inspiration.

  5. Sarah Marie on February 27, 2011 at 7:06 PM

    Parenthood is certainly a momentous change in one’s life. It makes sense that the experience would cause you to grow into a “new man.” What is it about being a parent that makes you, either intentionally or unintentionally, change into a “new” person? I encourage you to explore this theme further in your next poem!

  6. Dvaughn on April 13, 2011 at 10:38 AM


  7. Kiara on May 15, 2020 at 9:22 PM

    Praying for you! Beautiful poem and loved how your son is your inspiration and the one that gives you hope. Parenthood is so precious, cherish it forever once you’re reunited!

  8. kassidilenae on November 17, 2020 at 3:26 PM

    Thank you for your vulnerability in this poem! Children can be the best things in our lives. They challenge us to be the best version of ourselves. You are so blessed to have this light in your life, and I pray that you will be reunited with him soon. Keep writing!


  9. Reilly on May 5, 2021 at 2:26 PM

    I can really tell you care about your son through this poem. You used wonderful and descriptive imagery to describe how his love makes you feel. Great job and keep writing!

  10. Julia on November 21, 2021 at 3:55 PM

    I love this poem, because children are really a light to the world and the best motivators to make us better. I love the way you admire your child and I hope that you both are doing well. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. I hope to read more of your work.

  11. Jill on November 12, 2022 at 9:48 PM

    This poem is so touching and vulnerable. Through this poem, you can really get a sense of how much your son means to you which is truly beautiful. Family is so important and valuable! I hope you can reunite with your son soon! Stay strong and keep up the great work!

  12. aaliyah on December 4, 2022 at 11:13 PM

    Dear author, I wanted to start off by saying how wonderful, and heart touching your poem was. Nothing makes me happier then to read about a parent sharing their undying love for their child; the love you share with family is honestly the best kind you can experience in my opinion. I love how you compared him to bright things like the son and stars in the sky, reading those lines showed how much of an impact Deshawn has in your life. I also like how you said when “You’ll go home he’ll make you new”. It shows how parenthood really changes the whole experience of life itself and can motivate you to do and become anything your heart desires. And that truly is a beautiful thing. I hope that you can soon be reunited with your son and can show him the love you’ve expressed to us through your poem. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful poem about you and your son.
    I wish you the best!

  13. Simone on February 26, 2023 at 10:36 PM

    I just know your son loves you so much and you are the guiding sun in his life as well. Keep your head up so that he never puts his down. Sending lots of love.

  14. Donny on November 14, 2023 at 11:21 PM

    Your poem was very touching. In just a few words you were able to touch our hearts! There is clearly a lot of love for your son here, and I was able to pick that up from you immediately. Thank you so much for sharing this. Poems where we expose ourselves have such a strong story to tell. I hope your reunited with your son soon!

  15. Kaelyn on January 26, 2024 at 8:16 AM

    This is a beautiful poem, I hope you can properly unite one day.

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