I Have A Reason
By AH
I have looked into the eyes of a man of change
That knows that the street life brings nothing but pain
Am I just a casualty of this game?
Or simply a young man looking 2 make a name
My hood I claim
My gun I bang
But after the blood things r still the same
Regret is powerful in the heart of man
Especially when they said u did nothing
When forreal u was doing all u can
And I know powerful words from someone that sell drugs
And stands on the corner
And if I am so evil but u point the finger
What do that make u?
Good survival is the only mindset in our hood
Where money weighs more on people’s hearts than love
Where your own mother will set u up
And by the time u realize what happen
U r just another victim caught up in the rapture
So if I’m hardened cuz of my environment, excuse me
But I have a reason for moving so rudely
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I like how the words and sentences flow telling a story. I also like the last sentence…it was a great wrap up…keep writing.
One of the more brutal poems from prison that I’ve read, especially the line about mothers setting up their own children. (Reminds me of the TV series The Line.) My favorite lines are the last two; the half rhyme of “excuse me” and “rudely” really worked for me. I also like the ironic use of the word “rapture.” some rapture. You portray a sense of someone who would like to be someone with an open and loving heart but fears he’s been too hurt to every open up again. I appreciate the honesty.
This is excellent as a companion poem to “Society, You Made Me.” It digs deeper into the causes of the emotions that you display in your other poem, and like most good writings, it asks more questions than it answers. I love the choppy interludes that interrupt the rhythm of the poem: “My hood I claim/
My gun I bang,” and the third stanza, where the poem seems to come to a stand-still. As the title says, you have a reason– for being frustrated, for being angry, for being mistrustful. No one can blame you for being bitter, and if you stay resentful and spiteful the rest of your life, well, you certainly have a reason. But you also have here a unique opportunity not to let your past determine your future, and to surprise everyone by becoming a better person. It’s easier said than done, of course, but just do me a favor and think about it. You don’t have to let society win.
This poem really made me feel the frustration that comes with a state that doesn’t change… when you are trying to make something change with all your power, and it doesn’t; or when you find yourself caught in the same cycle expecting different results (“but after the blood things r still the same”). This happens because you and others are simply trying to survive. I really loved the last line, “but I have a reason for moving so rudely.” This poem also leaves you with the question it started with: “am I just a casualty of this game?” And who is the man of change?