Am I Ugly?
Eyes closed deep inside
I’m pretending being a free man
It’s amazing what I see
So beautiful, wonderful wonder land
My mind is independent soaring up in sky like a bird no fear of the world
No matter how hard I try to smell it’s that recycled air that drops me hard back to reality
Like I lost some kind of gravity
I’m still trying not to open my eyes and destroy my hopeful vision
Trying not to believe I’m behind bars like caged animal in prison
I heard dreams come true if you believe and just keep dreaming
Feels like I have been sleeping forever subconsciously
Here I am still dreaming
I guess I do have a dream like Martin but I wonder when it will be startin’
Thousand others’ dreams floatin’ going around in circles
Even hopeless dreams trying to keep up cheer up like it’s some kind of circus
DA’s and Judges abandoned us from the community talking about we are criminals
Animals that belongs in cages die in here as we ages
They treat us like we are uglies like some kind of hideous creature
We are still humans for God’s sake leave the judging to our creator
I was told I was beautiful, smart, intelligent person and still I believe I am
But sometimes I wonder if I was told all lies.
And this question repeats in my head and flies in circles
“Am I Ugly?” but I don’t believe it
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The poets featured here are currently incarcerated, and many of them are in federal prisons far from home. Your feedback is a valuable source of motivation and connection to the outside community. Post your comments, feedback, and encouragement in the space below the poem. Messages will be passed on directly to the author. Comments may not appear immediately on the site, as our team processes them to mail to the poets.
Your off beat rhyme scheme is amazing,
“No matter how hard I try to smell it’s that recycled air that drops me hard back to reality
Like I lost some kind of gravity”.
This line echoes in my mind, if you read this poem out loud, as a spoken word piece, it would sound beautiful. Thank you for sharing your writing, I’ll be looking out for more.
During my decades in prison this was a constant battle. You are a human being, with a beautiful spirit. The system is always telling you something different, it has a continual message that is trying to beat you down. For me the answer was to live my life in a way that gave meaning to it. I used my talents and times to try to make my world a little better. I wasn’t with the people I wanted to be with usually, but I kept reminding myself that they were human beings too, and to interact with them that way. It wasn’t always easy, especially with staff or people I really disliked. I failed a lot, but I didn’t give up. Prison will beat you down or it will build you up. Nobody stays the same, and most come out worse. You have to make the choice to stay alive as a human, as a man, and to grow when you can. I am praying for you brother.
Dear Poet,
It made me, as a reader, happy to see the character’s positivity shine through the bad days. Never second guess who you are. It sends an inspiring message to people who have asked themselves the same question you asked, “Am I ugly?” I was happy to see in the poem that the character wants to continue dreaming even through the hard times in life, it may send him to a place of comfort. The comparison of being behind bars like caged animals takes away that reality of being in a dream. Keep believing in yourself and keep moving on.
N.S., in NY
Dear Poet,
Your poem is quite incredible and I applaud you for not believing in the cruel words that others say. People are quick to judge and don’t even reflect on their own flaws before attacking anothers. Let the words roll off your back, because they do not define you. Your optimism comes through strong in your poem and I encourage you to never stop dreaming, one day your dream will start. Keep up the powerful writing.