Life Story

By A.R.

 

How do I start my life story?

Should I start when I popped out my Mother in 1994

or do I start on the day when my Father walked out the door

maybe I’ll start on the playground

where ears were covered to block  out the sound of gun sound

where a body could be found where I play

and police harass me and friends all day

writin’ my life in poetry is hard if you have nowhere

to start

Wait I can start….

When I slept with the bathroom light on

because I was scared of the dark

or even when I got beat up in the park

because I wouldn’t share my chalk

or how I was laughed at in school

because I wore shoes with no socks-

Sometimes, how do I write poetry bout my life?

When half the time I don’t know if where me and my family

Goin’ sleep at night

or was I going to be alive the following night

and make it to sunlight.

Okay, hold on, I got it get ready to take notes

starting at 10-

when I seen crack addicts sleep in the hallway

high off the drugs they smoked the previous day

when teachers in school called me dumb-

because of my test grades

So How do I start my life story?

When I can start from so many places

So, you pick like your favorite food on a menu

until then my life story is to be continued….

Black Boy

Black boy, black boy
What you gon’ do when they come for you?
You better run, you better hide
You better try and save your life
But you better not fight
You will die, there’s no might
Do you really want to sleep forever tonight?
But if you run and you hide
They will find you
They will kill you
So what is there to do, Black boy?
Know when to run and know when to fight
But don’t run, ‘cause you’re scared to lose your life
And don’t fight ‘cause you want to take theirs
Black boy is the call that you’re known by
You hit that pac cause you wanted your own high
You listen at night
But you’re frightened by your own cry
Tortured by your own life
But you know you can win
Just hold it in
Black boy, black boy
You would leave, but he’s already there
In fact, he’s everywhere
It’s okay
You listen and hide
Black boy, black boy
Oh you run
But there’s no where to hide
Black boy, black boy
It rangin, he’s already here
Okay, you’ll do it
You face the enemy
You look around
A weapon is nowhere to be found
The place you were in starts to spin
Then you look up and it’s a mirror
Black boy, black boy
You were runnin’ and hidin’ all along
The enemy was the inner me
Black boy, black boy
What you gon’ do when they come for you?

To My Daughter

I walk through the day, hidden in my disguise.
With fear in my heart and pain in my eyes.
Fear of a man?
Hell no,
Fear of a woman.
Well I would say so,
Not fear of bodily harm.
Like broken legs or broken arms.
I fear the way she looks at me today.
What she thinks of me because I am away.
I am sorry I betrayed her trust
When I speak to myself, I scream and cuss.
I can only apologize for all my mistakes.
But I promise to make it up to her!
Whatever it takes.
I have lost so much in search of gain.
When this journey’s over I will never leave home again.
All my life I dedicate to you.
Always know, without a doubt,
That I Love You.