I Smile When My Soul Cries
By JP
If common sense is the opiate of the masses
Then I’m the man of a thousand masks
Don’t try to figure out my character
Because it has chameleon characteristics
It changes with its surroundings,
The people who I may encounter
It is most times my defense mechanism
To keep others at bay
To throw you off
My smile is one of my masks
Because I smile when my soul cries
I smile when I’m angry
I smile when I feel crappy
But I never smile when I’m happy
The mask, I wear it with shame
Because it doesn’t portray who I am
But it pleases others
Plus it helps me fit in
At times I almost reveal the man
The man under the mask
Being the mask is easy
But being the me is the task
Without it, I feel naked
Like the world’s staring at me
Like they could read me
And predict my movements
But who really cares
Who really cares about the mask I wear?
2 Comments
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The poets featured here are currently incarcerated, and many of them are in federal prisons far from home. Your feedback is a valuable source of motivation and connection to the outside community. Post your comments, feedback, and encouragement in the space below the poem. Messages will be passed on directly to the author. Comments may not appear immediately on the site, as our team processes them to mail to the poets.
I really appreciate your honesty, and your poem is amazing. Wanting to please others while being yourself is a difficult task and you have worded the struggle wonderfully. Sometimes it seems hard to believe that others are there and that they care about you, but I think that you are doing something great and it caught my eye and emotion. Through your poetry maybe you can be yourself, because I see an honest man who would like to take off that mask and show his talent for words and his struggle. Please continue writing and I sincerely hope that this comment and could make you smile for your real
Hi there! I really liked this poem and I think it’s really relatable. As someone who has been known as a “people-pleaser”, it resonated with me, and I think it will let others know that they aren’t alone in their struggle of having to hide their own feelings and emotions when surrounded by peers and loved ones. I completely understand the fear and the uncertainty that you’ve been feeling since taking the mask off. After someone is pressured into hiding their true selves, and their true feelings, it’s almost as if you forget who you are and you have to start all over again. In my personal experience, losing oneself feels like you’re trying to make your way back to a distant memory that you know exists, but you just don’t know how to get there, and you need guidance. I hope that you receive that guidance, and that one day, you feel proud of who you are, because you have overcome every single obstacle that life has thrown at you so far.