Confused By Yours All Yours
Are you with me or not?
Do you love me or not?
I mean yeah I’m hurting inside
but you’re all I got most of the time
it feels like I gotta have my own back,
but I know you love me
and I know you care
and if you really wanna be with me
then you’ll find a way for us to make it there.
Are you bout this or not?
Aren’t we a sure thing or not?
I ain’t gonna press or sweat you,
or this relationship any more
cause deep down I know what it is
(me and you together forever years)
but lets just at least try to work it out
for the betta & the best
cause as long as you’re with me,
who cares about the rest.…
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This poem really struck a chord with me. The questions asked are simple and straightforward yet rife with intense, disguised emotions that clearly tear at the author’s heart. The confusion, the yearning for certainty and the reassurance of a loved one, the sense of back-and-forth that seems to go nowhere, it all weaves together into something intimately profound and evocative. The vernacular used, rather than sweeping, complicated vocabulary, makes it even more intimate, like I’m listening in on a conversation or even the prelude to a full-fledged argument between two lovers, one who seems aloof and unattached while it pains the other and makes him/her doubt the stability of their relationship. Reading this piece gave me that low, pensive, soothed-by-sadness feeling that I get when I listen to my favorite sad songs on repeat, and I loved that your writing was powerful and beautiful enough to get that kind of reaction out of me. Thank you for writing this, for giving me the opportunity to read it, and for tugging at my heartstrings in such a sweet and sorrowful way. Please write more. Oh, and the title? Brilliant. Thought-provoking. And extremely poetic.
Hi, thank you for sharing this poem. From the very first line, the reader is immediately faced with conflict, with a choice. I’m a writer myself, and I love poems that demand an answer from someone or something, a sort of ultimatum. I can envision you saying this line to someone else, and if you were to continue working on this poem, I invite you to picture the person you are speaking to. What do they look like? Where would you be when you ask them this question: your home? a crowded bar? in a car? could be anywhere. Paint a specific image of this scene for us. Give us all the emotional details. It doesn’t have to be real, but don’t be afraid to draw upon memories and blend it all together. Poems can focus on just one moment (real or fake), or can explore moments that span days, weeks, months, or years. The line at the end, “as long as you’re with me” is powerful. As the reader, we know that there is conflict, but what about this person keeps you from being able to stay away? Be vulnerable. I hope you keep writing and I can read your work in the future! 🙂