An interview with Free Minds member David, by Matty, Free Minds Prison Book Club Intern. This interview was originally published in Volume 14, Issue 2 of the Free Minds Connect .
I was pleased to be able to sit down with FM member David, who recently returned home and was able to tell me about his connection with his family, his hopes for the future, and what “goals” means to him.
Hi David! Thanks for doing this interview and welcome home. Tell me, how long have you been home now?
Since January the 21st.
Congratulations. And what role did education, reading, and writing play for you while you were incarcerated?
Education definitely played a major part in my development as a person and as a man. I was just trying to learn it all on my own – my education was self-taught in the beginning. I toughed it out, started getting comfortable with reading, got myself a dictionary, and started from there. I’ve been a Free Minds member for 8 years now, maybe 9. Free Minds sent me a lot of books. By the time I became a free man, I could go through a book like it was nothing.
How did it impact you to receive personal correspondence from Free Minds while you were incarcerated?
I was fortunate to have some family members writing to me, but it’s still not the same as somebody taking time to write to you that you don’t know. Someone taking time out of their day to write to you and get to know you – that does something for you, it means something. There are some guys that don’t have that, so you understand the significance of it when you do have it. I’ve seen plenty of guys that don’t have anybody to write them or talk to them. Somebody that doesn’t know you from a can of paint, taking time out their day to get to know you – it’s a different field than talking to your family. A lot of times you can open up to a person that doesn’t even know you. It meant something to me because I know the significance of not having somebody, and I know the significance of having somebody, so I know how much it takes for a person to be able to write to you out of the blue.
Yeah, it’s really meaningful. You said you had family members writing to you over the years – what did correspondence with your family look like while you were incarcerated?
I have a pretty big family. Yesterday I was actually in Philadelphia seeing my little cousin graduate from medical school. She became a doctor yesterday, and has been writing to me since she was in Kindergarten. I remember her when she was in pre-K, saying, “I’m going to be a pediatrician,” in the letter. And I still have those letters, every last one. So yesterday was a monumental moment for my family. I remember when I first met her, when she was seven years old, to now being able to actually see her walk across that stage. She was one of the people that, from the time that she could pick up a pencil, was writing to me. We’ve been corresponding, as well as her mother and one of my sisters. So I was fortunate to have at least three people in my whole 27 years write, visit, and correspond with me. Like I said, I was one of the fortunate ones, but not everybody experiences that.
Congratulations to your cousin! What does family mean to you now that you’re home and you’re able to, for example, travel to Philly for your cousin’s graduation. What is your relationship with your family looking like now?
It just keeps getting better and better. The older you get and the more mature you get, the more significant you realize it is to have a family. I have a big family. Life is life, and I don’t hold any grudges; not all of them wrote to me or came to see me, but we talked on holidays and things like that. I have 30 nieces and nephews, so I’m making it my goal to be around them. I take them to the zoo, go down to the park with them, just watch them enjoy themselves, and go to their football practices. I’m fortunate that my mother and my dad are still alive. Me and my father, we’re building a relationship. We haven’t always been close, but even since before I’ve been incarcerated, we’ve been building a father-son relationship. We go out every week, eat, and hang out. One of my sisters is in North Carolina, and I haven’t seen her yet, but I talk to her on the phone and FaceTime her. It’s just amazing to be able to see all these kids, see my brothers and sisters, and just enjoy myself. It means a lot to me. Family is a big part of your life. It can bring you all the enjoyment in the world. I got a different perspective on life and the way I want mine to be. I’ve been working hard to try and make sure that I’m around my family, that I can build relationships with my family.
That’s lovely to hear that you’re able to show up for your nieces and nephews like that, and be in their lives. And I bet it’s so exciting to see your family members grow up too.
Right. It’s amazing how I’ve been home 90 something days, maybe 100, and just in that little bit of time my nephews know who I am. They want to play with me and spend time with me – when I go see them, I’m playing with them for hours. So they know me. I even have two great nieces, and one is actually born on the same day as me. We got the same birthday. She’ll be turning three this year, and when I come around her, she knows me, runs to me, you know. So, yeah, it’s just joy. It’s the joy, man. It’s hard to explain, but it’s definitely a super joy.
For sure, that’s amazing. Thank you so much for sharing about your family. I have one last question – the theme of this Connect is “Goals.” And I was wondering, what does the word “goals” mean to you? Both in the context of family, and in this era of your life now that you’re home?
I wrote down a bunch of goals when I learned there was a chance I might get released, and I’ve been checking them off. I just went and got my learner’s permit, and reunited with family members that I haven’t talked to in 30, 40 years, since even before I got locked up. I really believe that my story is one of the stories that can touch some of these young minds out here, because when I was coming up, I didn’t have anybody to go to and be able to talk to and understand me. But I believe that I’m one of the people that can really understand these young guys and young women out here, because I went through what they’re going through now. So one of my goals is just to become like a force when it comes to mentorship, helping out the youth, and helping out my community, you know? So I’ve been working towards that. Another one of my goals is being able to help out family members. My goal is just to evolve in everything I do, whether it’s family, working, or building relationships in the community. I’m an artist, so I have to be able to get better at what I do, with art shows and learning the art world. My goal is just to evolve, just to get better. My blessings are not just for me, they’re for the people that are around me too. Anything that I touch, I want to touch it in a positive light. I want to be able to help whether it’s a little or a lot.
Is there anything else that you want to add? Any advice for your fellow Free Minds members?
I’ll just say for the brothers and sisters that’s incarcerated – just keep the faith. You never know what the man got planned for you. That’s all I can say. Sometimes it could take a minute, sometimes it may be fast, but you have to be ready to receive it. That’s about it.