My Hood
My hood is my hood
My beef is my beef
But to be real
All I have to do is be me
Things have come and things have gone
I use to couldn’t wait to live my life
But now I can’t wait to get home
Happiness for smilin’ and pains for cryin’
But things get mixed up
F***** in the game
No one’s at fault and no ones to blame
But whats the point
Oh yeah, I know his name
When I was doin’ it, it was a game
But I look back
Now I’m a shame
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The first half of this poem has kind of a childlike simplicity with the words chosen and the rhyme scheme. It makes the last four lines hit really hard–their seriousness and sadness is so heavy compared to the almost light style of the beginning. I think it’s a phenomenal juxtaposition. I also think the last four lines are some of the best I’ve ever read. I’m trying to decide–I think they could stand alone as their own poem, would it be even more powerful that way?
Don’t forget that you are more than your actions. Everyone has done things that they are ashamed of, but that doesn’t make them a shame. You can rise past any one of your actions. Writing something this powerful is no small part of your redemption. You should be proud of this.
I can really feel the emotion in this poem. It shows you how you can be one person one day, and wake up as somebody else, looking back. Whoever wrote this is certainly no shame.
I write in my free time as a hobby, and as an outlet. Putting everything that’s happened to me and transferring it from first emotion and then to hidden meanings on paper is something that I find therapeutic and relaxing if all else. I must say I look forward to seeing another piece done by you. The way you worded everything came out beautifully, and it gave me a glimpse as to who you are. Keep going, I’m sure you will benefit from this, on top of having a good source of reflection. Stay true..
I love this poem. It’s incrediably well written and well put together and has a very clear and powerful message.
The only line that didn’t sit quite right for me was,
I use to couldn’t wait to live my life
But now I can’t wait to get home
I love what this line is saying and the idea behind it, but somehow, at least for me, the flow of the line didn’t fit quite right with the rest of the poem.
I my favorite part was by far,
Happiness for smilin’ and pains for cryin’
But things get mixed up
F***** in the game
No one’s at fault and no ones to blame
This was really really good and a great use of language. It really stuck with me.