Why Is My Heart So Cold?

By TS

Why is my heart so cold?
Is it ‘cause the way the wind blows?
Is it the way the rain pours?
The reason that I can’t feel no more
Or is it ‘cause my mother wasn’t there? 
Or that I never saw my father and he don’t care?
Or is it ‘cause of these streets?
My only friends getting murdered ‘cause of beef
My only blood getting taken away from me
They say there’s a lot good and warm in this world
Seems like more bad and cold if you ask me
Good spirits I do not enter
Summer outside but inside me it’s winter
Good times I seem to not remember
Cold like the first winter chill in December
Why is my heart so cold? I still don’t know
But as I live on, the coldness in my heart continues to grow

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3 Comments

  1. Carson on February 27, 2015 at 3:54 PM

    This is both so lyrical and so vivid. I enjoy how grounded in physical images this is. The identification of emotions with nature, and even looking to nature as the source or trigger for emotions — whether it’s the natural world of weather etc, or the natural world of direct human experience. And the rhyme and rhythm deliver it all in a way that helps the reader open up to the emotional experience being described.

  2. DC Mama on March 1, 2015 at 5:52 PM

    TS, it’s evident from reading this that writing is your thing. This poem covers heavy, heavy subject matter, and I liked that you chose a very specific theme — winter — to illustrate that. I liked that you used some very specific phrases to get that across — blowing wind, pouring rain, December, cold, etc. and then contrasted that with Summer, and how different that is from your situation, to really bring that point home. There is something about the meter of this poem that reminds me of Robert Frost, and I would encourage you to read his work. And whatever you do, KEEP WRITING. You have a gift.

    As to the subject matter, not gonna lie — this poem made me cry. Nobody — and certainly not a young person — should have to carry these kinds of burdens. I applaud you for digging this deep, for putting what you found there on the page, and then putting it out there for us to see. It takes a great deal of courage to do that.

  3. CP on August 11, 2015 at 7:59 PM

    TS-

    This poem is really moving. I especially like the way you equate loneliness with the physical discomfort of being cold. I think you’re most resonant line to me is when you say, “Good spirits I do not enter/Summer outside but inside me it’s winter.” It really made me realize how gnawing that feeling of being alone can be, and how similar that gnawing feeling is to being cold and not being able to shake it, stop it, or do anything.

    I hope you know you aren’t alone and that your words give voice to other people who may think or feel that they are.

    Keep writing,
    CP

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