The Sounds of My Heart
By DL
Pow, pow, pow, my heart beats like a gun
Love conquers everything and cupid is on the hunt
Boom, Boom, Boom, my heart beats like thunder
Winter makes love with spring to give birth to summer
Pop, pop, pop, my heart beats like bubble gum
Kissing you is much better right under the morning sun
Clap, clap, clap, my heart beats like applause
I’m only happy when I’m with you, you could never turn me off
Snap, snap, snap, my heart beats like snapping fingers
I’m drunk off your love and I’m a heavy drinker
Bam, bam, bam, my heart beats like exploding fireworks
Loving you is my favorite job, I will make it what it’s worth
Knock, knock, knock, my heart beats like someone’s at our front door
Our love is like a winning team and I just made the final score
Beep, beep, beep, my heart beats like a honking horn
I love it when you touch me, your hands are so soft and warm
Ring, ring, ring, my heart beats like a ringing phone
I just received your voicemail telling me to hurry home
Drip, drip, drip, my heart beats like leaking water
I want you to have our first child, a son or a daughter
Tap, tap, tap, my heart beats like an object tapping on a table
If you ever leave, my heart beat will be disabled
Vroom, Vroom, Vroom, my heart beats like an engine
I’ll run a thousand-mile race for your love, from start to finish
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I thought the way the poem is structured, with the onomatopoeia repeating every other line to describe the way the author’s heart feels, is very clever. I think it gives the poem a expressive and clarifying structure.
Hi DL,
You did an excellent job of describing how love feels a lot of the time! You took this very abstract concept that everyone wants to feel and made it very real and understandable by connecting it to the sounds of everyday objects.
There are some close, but imperfect rhymes (rhymes that only match partially) in this, and my immediate thought was: is this because love, although it is amazing and wodnerful, isn’t always perfect and can’t be wrapped up neatly into a box? Also, loving and be loved is hard work, but worthwhile, and that’s what I connected to.
Great job. I felt this on a personal level.
The way you use sounds to tie this together is so effective. It keeps me engaged and wanting to know what comes next–a seriously effective writing tool. Thanks for sharing this.
DL,
Loved the language of your poem! You do a wonderful job of describing how this person makes you feel — the onomatopoeia adds an engaging element to your poem that also makes it fun to read. Awesome job!