Mastering the Pain

By JG

Feeling everything so deeply
Can be a gift and a curse
My happiness is true bliss
Everything just works
Suddenly, joy is replaced with pain
Clear skies fill up with rain
I try to hold on
But can’t seem to maintain
My skies darken
Turmoil sets in
Damn
Never knew the mind could be like a wilderness one could be lost in
Lost many battles
Acting on impulse
Reacting with uncontrolled emotion
Never pausing to consider a reasonable course
I’ve felt the fire countless times
Intensified by a prison cell
12 by 9
A victim stance was my position
Playing the blame game
Meanwhile, in reality
My condition remained the same
Most my lessons come the hard way
But were received nonetheless
My understanding is that much greater
I feel truly blessed
Being a thought of Allah made manifest
I consciously create
Striving every day to be the captain of this ship
The true master of my fate
The war is far from won
But my book is far from done
I have nothing to lose
But everything to gain
These first few chapters have been spent
Mastering the pain
Learning how to love
Breaking my mental chains
Rising above
This next section will be marked by liberty
I’ll be free to pursue the queen that my heart desires
She’ll be free to embrace our chemistry
Won’t need a power of attorney
I can handle my affairs myself
I can eat life giving foods
That actually replenish my health
No more limitations
Everything is possible
With discipline, persistence, patience
I overcome all obstacles

6 Comments

  1. Kayelynn on April 14, 2020 at 4:25 PM

    JG,

    Your poem has a remarkable message! Your humanity shines through each word and you allow yourself to be honest and open with your readers. It’s amazing to see how resilient you are and I could take a page from your book on how to keep getting up when things get really tough. Can’t wait to see what poetry you come out with next!

  2. kassidilenae on June 12, 2020 at 1:57 PM

    JG,

    Thank you for taking the time to share with us. Your work is vulnerable and genuine. Emotion can be both a blessing and a curse when you feel so deeply. But without out lowest low, we could never appreciate the best moments. Your future is bright!

    Keep writing!4

  3. OM on April 17, 2021 at 12:08 PM

    Hi JG,

    Thank you so much for sharing your poem with us, I thought it was really powerful and inspiring. Allowing yourself to feel certain emotions on its own can be very difficult and I can see great growth in your story. I admire your strength and perseverance and can’t wait to read more pieces by you!

  4. Oshane on October 24, 2022 at 10:28 PM

    Thanks for sharing your story with us that you look forward to being free and exploring the new life that awaits you. I like the line in your poem where you state” Most my lessons come the hard way”.

    This is true for many of us. Life experiences can hit us very hard at times but we have to remember what doesn’t break us only will make us stronger.

  5. CO on February 21, 2023 at 11:47 PM

    JG,
    Wow! What a powerful poem. I can definitely sense your determination to a better life and to overcoming obstacles that may present to you along the way. This poem shows you have so much mental strength through learning many lessons the “hard way”. It is good to learn that you have a source of faith during your time to help you look forward and keep your head up. Thanks so much for sharing!

  6. Grace on April 4, 2023 at 5:07 PM

    Hi there!
    I loved reading this poem and I can relate to some of it. I feel things very deeply, not just my own emotions, but I sometimes take on the emotions of others as well. It can be extremely challenging to be the person that others turn too when you have to work through your own thoughts and feelings, not to mention, worrying that you will feel a certain way for the rest of your life because you feel things so deeply that it becomes a difficult task to try to feel anything else. I imagine that when you speak about it being a curse, that’s what you mean. I find it inspiring how you have found the positive side of having such complex emotions flood you. It is very easy to lose yourself when you spend too much time in your head, but it seems that you have found the motivation to become the best version of yourself which is extremely important and is something to take pride in. Life sometimes throws curveballs, but when you remind yourself that it is what you make it, like you said, there are no limits. Keep doing what you’re doing. You’ve got this!

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The poets featured here are currently incarcerated, and many of them are in federal prisons far from home. Your feedback is a valuable source of motivation and connection to the outside community. Post your comments, feedback, and encouragement in the space below the poem. Messages will be passed on directly to the author. Comments may not appear immediately on the site, as our team processes them to mail to the poets.