Feel My Pain

By DP

Too young to communicate what’s going through my brain
My lips move, but words, they never seem to escape
Am I f****d up?
Or am I just too young to communicate my pain?
My pops isn’t the blame!

As a child, I was just too ashamed to share my pain
I’m all grown up
Yet I still find it hard to communicate what’s on my brain
My anger is my outlet
But I am confused with not being able to show love

Surrounded by men from different parts of the world
They don’t know me
So why should I show love that can be misconceived as weakness
Trapped inside of me
Is still this little boy who is scared to communicate his pain

Ma, you are the reason I try
The reason I look myself in the mirror just to see what’s in my eyes
I’m not afraid anymore
That’s why I am sharing with the world
The reason this little boy cries

For too long now I’ve been blaming others
When I should’ve been blaming myself
Yeah I know
It’s a harsh reality
But the truth always hurts

Words communicated with truth
Has the power to heal
But words are only a form of expression
To communicate my pain
From this little boy who holds anger and pain

I must first forgive those in order to let this anger and pain die
Don’t ask me why
But this little boy trapped inside of me is now ready
Ready to communicate his pain and tell the world why
The love for my family will never die

I was too young to communicate my pain
But as a grown man
Now I am ready to communicate
What’s on my brain.

Feel my pain!!!

 

Comments

  1. DP, you did a great job telling your story from the perspective of a “little boy” inside. I can absolutely feel your pain and I hope you continue writing.

  2. Sarah S. says

    DP, I love that this poem makes the reader experience– albeit on a much smaller scale– the roller coaster of emotions you have been through in your journey to maturity and understanding. At the beginning of the poem I felt so much sadness and despair, wanting to tell you that you’re not f****d up and that what you are feeling is completely normal; that communicating and showing love is a sign of strength, not weakness; that anger only begets anger and not healing. But then as I kept reading, I slowly realized that you have already come to this realization on your own, and I felt my spirits lift and my hopes soar. You are grown up and have the wisdom to know that “words communicated with truth have the power to heal.” Someone very close to me experienced trauma as a child, and did not begin to address this pain until he was in his 30s, letting it express itself as anger instead. I am so happy that you are wise beyond your years and beginning the healing process now.

  3. Hi DP, I do feel your pain! Thank you for sharing your moving poem with the world. Your words are true and inspiring. While many people might not share your background, we all have traumas from our childhood we have not been able to express, so thank you for speaking for all of us. Best wishes. –Molly

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