Broken Souls

By AE

They are cast aside, rejected,
Longing for that day, dejected,
Harboring torment, desperate,
Illusions of normality.
Twisted, sick, corrupt captors,
Like a black hole, it sucks you in;
The environment, the elements, rhetoric,
Nontransparent and hidden from society.
To our families, once begotten,
But now only forgotten,
They are broken around him,
Fallen, one by one, again and again.
The sickness is in the air…
But he fights it!
His gas mask, the only person who’s always cared,
Fighting to persevere, detractors become irrelevant,
His chin high, his chest out, he is benevolent.
He remains headstrong, steadfast, and whole,
And will never fall as a broken soul…

Comments

  1. What a powerful poem. I really like the image of “His gas mask, the only person who’s always cared.” You put your finger right on it: The people who care are what keep us able to breathe, keep us alive in all the toxicity. I will remember this image of the gas mask!

  2. Sabryn Ferchichi says

    AE,

    I truly was captured by your raw emotion and strong descriptions, I really had a visual of someone struggling hard in their darkest moments where all feels lost. Strength isn’t something physical always, but a feeling and emotion! You illuminated that message through the closing, “he fights it!” This line really struck out to me. Fighting and to keep going for your soul. Thanks for the amazing read.

  3. Dear AE,

    Thanks for sharing this poem. I really liked your use of rhyme throughout the poem, which really tied it together and made it almost musical. Your line about “illusions of normality” particularly resonated with me today, because so little is normal at this time and yet there are those who would want it to seem that way. I also enjoyed that this poem ended on such an uplifting note. It’s very hopeful and an image of courage. This poem made me hopeful that people can embody benevolence, steadfastness, strength, and wholeness even in an abnormal time! Thanks again for sharing.

    Best,
    JM

  4. Hey AE, this is such a powerful piece! I love the transition from writing about someone who has been beaten, forgotten, and at times is completely blanked from reality; but in the end knows that they are not to give up, they will simply kill things with kindness because they won’t allow theirselves to break. My favorite lines: “Fighting to preserve, detractors become irrelevant, His chin high, his chest out, he is benevolent.”

  5. Phuong Nguyen says

    The rhymes you have are extremely powerful, and the theme presented is also extremely impactful. Thank you for speaking on the traumatic feelings that you have experienced, and most importantly, keep pusing forward. Stay strong! I would love to hear more from you

  6. I really enjoyed reading this poem and recognized the slow transition you tried to make. I liked how you described a broken soul as something/someone that takes awhile to happen. This struck me because of your point of view, watching it happen to others yet remaining motivated to not let it happen to you. That is honorable and extremely brave, considering how your surroundings seem to tell you otherwise. I also really liked how you described this darkness seems to suck you in, like a black hole. This is powerful because it reiterates your strength and resilience. Despite the surroundings, the poem was uplifting by showing you coming out triumphant with you chin held high.

  7. Martina Merrill says

    AE,
    You have such a beautiful way with words, you can see power and strength in what you have to say. The pain of feeling rejected from society can be felt in this work, my hope in this world is that one day we realize that no one deserves to be cast aside. That everyone one day, no matter if they are incarcerated, the color of their skin, who they love, will feel like they belong and are loved. No one deserves to feel like they are not a part of the world, you matter just as much as everyone else. The most beautiful thing about life is that even if you fall you can always build up again, like you said resilience will bring you forward. Continue to write, you can feel the emotions through your tone. You are a blessing to this world.
    Best,
    M

  8. AE,

    The rhyming and rhythm that you have been able to incorporate into this piece is truly incredible. The way you shift from depicting struggle to resilience is crafted so eloquently! Please keep writing!

  9. This is such a powerful poem. You did just a good job illustrating emotions in this poem. Very good job! Do not stop writing.

  10. this is very empowering and i love that there was a hopeful and encouraging tone in the end despite of the things that were said throughout the poem

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