A Father’s Long Walk with Reality

By SH

Smacked by an enormous impact of shame
Brain drained from searching unchartered memories
Those times that will never be sitting in the depths of me
Consumed by my own cocoon
Burdened by my unfit deeds
Those responsibilities that I failed to meet
Makes it hard to face the mirror’s reflection,
That’s suggesting I tie up the loose ends
Begin again like those yesteryears never happened
Yet, I’m still haunted by my actions and my nightmares
Leave me drenched in my children’s tears
This distance can’t comfort confused fear
Or change how they truly feel
The wonderment hurts like self-imposed punishment
While my children shoulder the blame and their mothers
Picked up the weight of my mistakes
Left feeling like a lamebrain trying to explain away the pain
Painting a paradox of how life is give and take
That wrong and right are the two roads of reality
But my love wasn’t enough to keep me home and they’re feeling
Like they did something wrong
Cause I wasn’t there when they needed me the most
Never seen them learn, never watched them grow
My presence holds the essence of a ghost
And my name is all they’ve ever known
Since infant to full grown
I was just a figment of their imagination and they easily erased it
Replaced it–with their own image of a glorified hero
Making him better than me–smarter than me
More swag than I had
With more virtue than can fill a paper bag
And I’m cool with that as long as they don’t
Follow in my footsteps
Wishing that one day all this will make sense
A father’s long walk with reality

For You

By GB

G, you’re the greatest thing that’s happened to me
And I will do my best to never let you down
My plan is to give you the world
I always want you smiling
I can’t be there now
But best believe I want to
So when I am there…
I guarantee there’s nothing we won’t do

You may be only a baby now; I don’t care
I want to bathe you, play with you, feed you, dress you
And all day hold you in my arms
As long as I live, it doesn’t matter how old you get…
You are my baby boy, my first son
And because of that I will protect you from all harms

You want me at your basketball game, your school play?
I’ll be there…I won’t miss a score or a line, and I promise you that
Even if you’re only on the bench the whole game
Even if you only got one line
Imma still be proud of you
And I’ll be in the stands
With a “my son is the best” hat

You having trouble with your homework? I’ll be there to help
And I’ll have your mom there to help me
I’m going to push you to strive for excellence
With your mother’s brilliance and my potential
There’s nothing you can’t do
So son, everything I said, I meant it
Every word I said is true
I love you son, so son I’m here any time
And there is nothing I won’t do…
For You

I’m A Father

by C.R.

When I was out there, I didn’t know

I was a father til a few months ago

My mother told me

But I still can’t believe it

Because now my little boy got his father in a jail cell

And I don’t want my son to live in my footsteps

Or even get a taste of my crazy life

That involves drugs, gangs, etc.

If I would’ve known that I got a son

I would’ve been home right now

Trying to be someone and support him

And teach him what’s right and not wrong

Not like how my father taught me

Now that I’m away from my little boy

That’s about to be one in four days

Got me feeling like s***

Because I missed his birthday while I’m incarcerated

I know when I get out

I’ma try to help my son and his mother out

‘Til I get his custody

I’ma help him out